Chapter 25: A Silver Chain
The Hilton’s they stayed at was only a couple of blocks from the restaurant so it didn’t take long for Mei to get back. She had two missed calls from an unknown number, and the person did not leave a message. She was too exhausted physically and emotionally to care and figured they would call back if it was anything important.
If this was a few years back she would have never done what she did – danced with someone off limit like that. Somehow getting older made her realize that life was too short and she needed to let Jesse know how she felt about him, he deserved to know and she deserved for him to know.
Soaking in the hot bubble bath with the smell of lavender surrounding her like a warm blanket, Mei closed her eyes and just let her body relax while completely immersed in the water. Though there were some reliefs now that she said her goodbye so there should not be any regret later like that with Scott, somehow she felt more confliction and sadness than ever before.
She stayed in the bath until the water got cold. There was a nice white robe hanging behind the bathroom door. Mei always liked the little touches a hotel did to show its guests how much they care. She dried her hair lightly with a towel and put on the robe, it felt plush and cozy. She stood in front of the sink and tried to find her face in the mirror through all the steams in the room. That’s when she heard a knock.
It was light and quick, just enough to make her just relaxed heart started pumping as fast as a full speed train again. And she knew who it was.
Mei suddenly felt nervous and scared, at the same time overwhelmed with anticipation. She didn’t move, just listened, she wanted to make sure that it was not her imagination.
Then there was another knock, this time a little louder but as brief as before. She kept still. Too many things are going through her mind right now that she could not decide. She told herself she would give it one more chance.
She waited, and waited, and there was no more. She found herself frozen in absolute silence.
The steam had cleared out now; her reflection clearly appeared in the big square mirror that covered half of the bathroom wall. She looked so tiny and helpless. She wiped away the tears on her face and squeezed out a big smile: “You will be all right…”
Mei walked towards bed, just when her hand was about to lift open the bed cover, she was startled by another sound. At first she almost thought it was the door, then after a few seconds she realized it was her phone, ringing from that unknown number again.
She picked up this time after a bad feeling suddenly climbed up her spine and after a few words from the other end, her face turned ghostly white.
The call was from Mei’s oldest sister Lan; and she delivered the message of every child’s worst nightmare: their father had just had a stroke and was in hospital under intensive care. The doctors were not optimistic about his condition. She called to see if Mei was able to fly back and possibly say her goodbye before it was too late.
Mei was not prepared for this at all. She was just thinking about calling to tell her parents about her engagement to Dan once she got back from DC. Her Dad sounded so healthy when they spoke on the phone a couple of weeks ago, so this came as a complete shock. Mei was really close to her Dad; she always looked up to him and relied on his advices for any big decisions in life. She was really looking forward to hear what he had to say about Dan and thought his approval would help confirming her decision in a big way.
The thought of not ever being able to talk to him again was just too painful to even entertain. She cried and cried all night long while trying to search online for the earliest flight back. Luckily she was still a Chinese citizen with a US green card, which meant no need to wait for the slow visa application process from either country. She found one on Monday with two stops and a layover night in Tokyo and booked it right away.
Jesse was disappointed but not surprised that Mei didn’t open the door; he told himself maybe that was actually better. They had an early flight back and he was able to catch a short rest. When he saw Mei came down to the hotel lobby in the morning he was shocked to see her in such bad shape. Her eyes were all swelled up and red, her face appeared pale and sad even when she tried to give him a smile. For a split second he almost thought he was the cause behind it but then his better judgment kicked in, he walked up to her and reached to hold her back: “My Goodness, Mei! Are you all right?”
“Not really.” Mei answered quietly, “My Dad is in the hospital, they don’t know how long it is going to be… I need to go back right away.” By this time tears had filled her eyes again but she was too exhausted to wipe them away. “Jesse, I am leaving on Monday so I won’t have time to go in office… could you consider this a short notice? I am not sure how long I will be gone for… I do have 4 weeks of vacation saved up so…” She tried to get her words out as calmly as she could, before Jesse pulled her in his arms.
“Shhh… I am so sorry Mei. I will take care of everything. Just go and don’t worry about anything back here.” He had his arms tightly around her while she cried silently on his shoulder and her tears streamed down slowing onto his jacket. She was too tired, too tired to fight against all the battles around; too tired to figure out whether his hug was appropriate; and too tired to restrict herself from seeking and grabbing on to the one thing that her heart truly desires.
They didn’t talk much on the flight back, but his hand was holding hers the whole time. All Mei could think of was memories from her childhood and how her Dad was the one thing that had always kept her feeling safe and grounded. When she tried to picture the life without him, there was nothing, blank, nada. She thought about how she never told her Dad she loved him. Chinese people just don’t do that, at least not in her generation; they show their loves to their families with actions, not words. But now all she wanted was a chance to tell he Dad thank you for all he had done for her and that she loved him so much.
Before they parted ways at the Raleigh airport parking lot, Jesse gave Mei another hug and asked for her number in China. He told her to keep him updated with the situation and he would also try to call whenever he could. Before Mei got in her car, Jesse reached inside his collar and pulled out a thin silver chain with a cross pedant. He took it off his neck and put it in Mei’s hand: “Here, take this, when you feel helpless, ask God to give you strength. I will be praying for you and your family too.”
Mei closed her fingers around the cross and let the pointy edges stab her palm till it hurt; she felt so numb and just wanted the pain to remind herself all this was real, not a dream: “Thank you. Jesse.” She watched him as he give her one more smile, turned around, and walked away. She saw in her mind how she ran after him and kissed his lips like she always wanted to.
She stood there until he was out of her sight, then she got in her car and drove away.
