Emotion is terrible

my new year's resolution is "don't miss any opportunity to shut your mouth".  This afternoon, there was a good opportunity for me to practise this. Unfortunately, I was not able to shut my mouth. Emotion again took me over. I talked too much and did not even know what I was talking about. By the end I regretted it greatly. How do I deal with myself? just a question for the void.

today, I was asked about the reason of my misery here, unfair treatment or lack of interests in the job. I know the answer without even thinking about it. I like my job. But the hostile environment is untolerable, suffrocating. Sometimes, I wonder why I am still around, why they hired me back if they find me so irritable and dislike me so much. why, why why??? I was told that if I like my job, then it is wise to simply forget about unfairness. there is no such thing in the world. If I really can't stand the environment, then just keep looking for my next place.

well, just found a few new openings on the web and hopefully, there would be some real opportunities this round.