That I Am
Passion to life is like wings to the airplanes. Only when the arms of passion open up, the flight of life take off.
正文
The good part about blogging without telling anyone is the zero commitment to regular posts. The good part of blogging is to capture moments of life with its fresh images and emotions. I live a life with short memories -- a great gift that help me be very upbeat and with abundant fresh energy.
Once, staring at the gold fish zipping happily in a our small fish bowl, I wondered how they could be that happy in that tiny little space. Ex has a humorous side when he was not in depression -- Scientists find out gold fish has only five seconds memories. By the time they went to the other side and back, they thought what a nice new place!
I believed him -- happily! I think I'm like the little fish, sometimes. There is never a dull moment in life -- I see fun at every corner I turn -- maybe because of my short memory.
Ex's visit is as what a rational person can predict almost a disaster. I was actually in tears when an American friend candidly told me that I was not reasonable to expect anything better. Ex stayed in the house. As I was still preparing my suitcase to leave the house, he was out of patience: When Are You Going to Leave?!
Bobo was late for school every day during his visit! Bobo started to have potty accidents, which she has not had since he left to China.
Ex told everyone including her teacher that Bobo has depression and she was a totally different kid from who was. Of course, he told everyone except me. By the time I heard this, I gave it some thought and went to him: Let's try to be a bit more friendly; and have a dinner together. Bobo was short on words probably because she was not sure how to reconnect to you. Ex came to senses, and agreed. That was it, after give months, as much as she was excited about his visit, she didn't know how to connect to him any more.
Ex asked me to babysit Bobo while he visited friends on Saturday. I agreed. He ended up asking me to keep Bobo for the whole day while he napped on the couch. He was gone in the early evening. By 10pm, when he was not back yet, I started to change to PJ's and called my friend that I would not be at their house that night since Ex was not back yet. At 10:30pm, Ex showed up when Bobo was in bed, and demanded me to leave the house. That was it. I told him it's his problem if he felt like we could not be under the same roof, not mine.
After a heated and all too familiar arguement, he went and stayed with the friend for the night. I was so tempted and inching to go back to the house for the rest of his trip, but managed to stay with the course and told myself this was for Bobo, not him anyway.
Despite the detailed schedule, address, contact information I sent him, he never took Bobo to any of her events, including Soccer pictures, violin lessons, Birthday party...
when Ex left, I was so ready to go home. The friend I stayed with has two cats, and I'm allergic to cats. I was practically scratching myself to death. More profoundly, I am grateful that he is in China, not the States. A weekly encounter like this could very well shorten my life.
Out of every dark experience, there is a bright spot: I'm grateful for what I have. God must love me and make it the arrangement for me and Bobo.
Once, staring at the gold fish zipping happily in a our small fish bowl, I wondered how they could be that happy in that tiny little space. Ex has a humorous side when he was not in depression -- Scientists find out gold fish has only five seconds memories. By the time they went to the other side and back, they thought what a nice new place!
I believed him -- happily! I think I'm like the little fish, sometimes. There is never a dull moment in life -- I see fun at every corner I turn -- maybe because of my short memory.
Ex's visit is as what a rational person can predict almost a disaster. I was actually in tears when an American friend candidly told me that I was not reasonable to expect anything better. Ex stayed in the house. As I was still preparing my suitcase to leave the house, he was out of patience: When Are You Going to Leave?!
Bobo was late for school every day during his visit! Bobo started to have potty accidents, which she has not had since he left to China.
Ex told everyone including her teacher that Bobo has depression and she was a totally different kid from who was. Of course, he told everyone except me. By the time I heard this, I gave it some thought and went to him: Let's try to be a bit more friendly; and have a dinner together. Bobo was short on words probably because she was not sure how to reconnect to you. Ex came to senses, and agreed. That was it, after give months, as much as she was excited about his visit, she didn't know how to connect to him any more.
Ex asked me to babysit Bobo while he visited friends on Saturday. I agreed. He ended up asking me to keep Bobo for the whole day while he napped on the couch. He was gone in the early evening. By 10pm, when he was not back yet, I started to change to PJ's and called my friend that I would not be at their house that night since Ex was not back yet. At 10:30pm, Ex showed up when Bobo was in bed, and demanded me to leave the house. That was it. I told him it's his problem if he felt like we could not be under the same roof, not mine.
After a heated and all too familiar arguement, he went and stayed with the friend for the night. I was so tempted and inching to go back to the house for the rest of his trip, but managed to stay with the course and told myself this was for Bobo, not him anyway.
Despite the detailed schedule, address, contact information I sent him, he never took Bobo to any of her events, including Soccer pictures, violin lessons, Birthday party...
when Ex left, I was so ready to go home. The friend I stayed with has two cats, and I'm allergic to cats. I was practically scratching myself to death. More profoundly, I am grateful that he is in China, not the States. A weekly encounter like this could very well shorten my life.
Out of every dark experience, there is a bright spot: I'm grateful for what I have. God must love me and make it the arrangement for me and Bobo.
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