朋友結婚了
(2009-05-09 23:07:20)
下一個
今天一個好朋友結婚了,去參加她的婚姻,當看到她在父親的陪伴下走進教堂的瞬間真是熱淚盈眶,好為她高興。
幾年前因為工作原因我們相識了。兩人幾乎同歲,當時她單身,沒有男朋友,我們很談得來,就從業務關係變成了經常午間吃飯聊天的朋友。後來不久她跟我講起認識的這個guy.她知道我向來反對交友網站,當時就跟我說是朋友的朋友。他們兩人一起吃過一,兩次飯,她很喜歡他,可他就是沒給她打電話約她出去。所以再見到A時,她就有些猶豫是否應該再約他。記得我當時讓她再等兩天,可她說Oprah說你要喜歡一個人就該主動,也許他也想見你,就是不好意思或分析你不是很熱情。我當時笑她,還真竟然聽Oprah的話。下一周再見麵時,問起她的進展,原來她不但又約了他,還又約了他三次。這回我跟她說,這可過頭了。你主動約了他,很好,但應該慢慢來,別那麽急。可她說他們真是有很多可聊的,而且還都是狗父母。當時另一個白JJ年長我們許多,等她走後,就對我說:我感覺他就是了。一個多月後的情人節,A收到了好大一個花籃,她真是好高興,打電話讓我過去看。從此,我們見麵的話題就幾乎成了A對他的分析課,幾乎她完全照著我所建議的反方向行事,不過我生日時她還是送我個牌子:love doctor.
後麵的事情好象都是一帆風順。一直到了快聖誕節時,A決定給他送個特別的禮物:約下了NPR上一個講他的故事的時段,並給錄音下來。當A問我時,我建議也許應該稍微側麵問問他,看他是否願意。幾天後,A告訴我好象沒問題。年初,酷愛長跑的A去佛洲跑馬拉鬆,她男友也隨行助威。我心裏暗暗希望他會在終點求婚,但等她回來,似乎什麽也沒發生。又過了幾天,A打電話約我吃飯,我剛坐下,她伸出了左手,她定婚了!高興之餘,我逼她講講被求婚的經過:原來他們一起去錄NPR的故事。在結尾時,他講到對他一生中最有影響的人,A當時也在場,她聽著聽著,發現他在講A給他帶來的變化,然後,他對著她說:A,你願意嫁給我嗎?當時錄音現場的工作人員都驚叫起來,A才意識到他在求婚。啊,真是非常讓人感動。
在新娘走進教堂的全過程,他都高興地樂著,A也同樣。當牧師讓他們手牽手時,倆人手拉著手,過會兒忍不住一起擺著手。牧師完成一步又一步流程時,他小聲地問牧師:"什麽時候可以吻新娘?真是非常可愛的一對新人。我真高興A沒聽我一句話建議,跟著她的心去找到了她最完美的另一半。
最後附上A的祖母在婚禮中獻上的一首詩:
The art of marriage
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In the art of marriage the little things are the big things...
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude
of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation
and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.