古老而光榮的海龜社(Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles)徽章
海龜社起源於第二次世界大戰的飛行員，他們在執行任務的間隙喝酒時用一些問題來娛樂，放鬆自己。每個問題看似會得到粗俗，猥褻或淫穢的答案，但實際正確的答案卻是相當正經的。如今有至少20不同的分支海龜社在美國，由名人和高雅人士組成。要想加入這個組織，你必須成功回答從大約25個問題中挑出的四個問題。
一旦加入這個社團，如果被問到：“你是海龜嗎？”
你必須回答：“You bet your sweet ass I am.”
如果由於種種原因（例如場合的限製）你不能如此粗俗的回答，那你就得請人喝酒了。
肯尼迪當總統開記者招待會時，曾經被人故意問到：“你是海龜嗎？”
“@#&*...，我還是以後請你喝酒吧。”，肯尼迪答到。
下麵是海龜社一些常見的問題，它們的答案根本不粗俗，猥褻或下流。
The answers to the following questions are neither vulgar, lewd, nor salacious.
- What does a woman do sitting down, that a dog does on three legs, and a man does standing up?
- What is a four letter word, ending with "k," that means intercourse?
- What is so long, and so hard, and sticks so far out of a man's pajamas in the morning, that he could hang a hat upon it??
- What does a cow have four of, that a woman only has two of?
- What is long, hard, and tubular and filled with "sea-men?"
- What is heard almost every day that rhymes with "duck" and begins with "F?"
- What does a dog do that a man steps into?
- What goes in hard and dry and comes out flaccid and moist?
- What is six inches long, has a head on it and is the object of many women's fantasies?
You must speak to a turtle to verify your solutions.
Wikipedia 關於海龜社的介紹
下麵網上流傳的故事，估計是根據海龜社的問題編出來的。其實世上很多問題都有不止一個答案，隻是看你站在什麽角度往什麽方麵想了。。。。
Are You Smarter Than a First Grader?
A first-grade teacher, Mrs. Robin Graber, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Mrs. Graber had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Mrs. Graber he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Mrs Graber and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Mrs. Graber says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Mrs. Graber asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Mrs. Graber: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Mrs. Graber: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Mrs. Graber: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Mrs. Graber: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Mrs. Graber: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Mrs. Graber: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told Mrs. Graber, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... "
人很容易受到誤導，成心誤導別人的人應受到處罰。。。
