days of my life

so there is some repetitive postings? saw someone asked about the same question, since it is generic i wouldn't bother to ask around.

 

have been thinking about paying a visit to my family in China in a while, and not sure why, this time it doesn't seem as exciting as it used to me. two visits in the past 7 years. what made me change my thinking? other than parents who are my next of kin, some close relatives and a couple of good friends, china in my heart has become somewhere so distant already already i still recognize myself as an authentic chinese. is it because of the things i've been thru since 7 years ago, not too much, endless schooling...or, is it somehow because of the worsened ethics in where i've been to during those visits, probably so, what's more, i feel like having lost connections with china. heart still beating with the chinese blood flowing thru my body. inner self has become someone who can't assign herself a clear identity. day in and day out, with the disappearance ofthe sense of freshness that i first felt  upon arrival, it's become more of a habitual fact that the school here, the people i talk to everyday are what myself is consisted of.

 

but, still......

 

i know i have got a dream, sometimes further away, sometimes closer to me especially at times when i jump into beds after a whole day of work. it is just like the title of my blog. i still long for the passion that i have been dreaming of. that's the sad yet beautiful part...wish that come true, so i tell myself...