Love Lessons from Dad

In honor of Father’s Day, we asked daters around the country for tried and true dad’s advice. Here’s what they told us:

Wait for Mr. Amazing
“Never ever settle—ever. My dad insisted that it’s better to wait around for something great than to waste your time with cheap crap!”
—Catherine Cantave, Silver Spring, MD

Beware the b-word
“My father was very adamant about me never being with a guy who didn’t respect women. (I wasn’t even allowed to watch Married With Children growing up, because of the way men on the show treat women.) He also can’t stand the word b*tch, since it’s degrading. This has opened up my eyes to the kind of guys who use the term: Even when guys use it jokingly, it shows a lack of respect, and I now avoid these men.”
—Erika Shantz, New York, NY

Tell it like it is
“When I was 16, I was all upset because I wanted to break up with my girlfriend, but was wracked with guilt over it. My father told me, ‘You’re not doing her any favors by pretending everything is OK. The nicest thing you can ever do is be honest with someone.’ I’ve followed that advice since then and am really grateful for it.”
—Daniel Beggan, Austin, TX

See with your heart
“My dad quotes Confucius to me! He told me, ‘Beauty comes out of lovers’ views,’ which I take to mean that when you see the love of your life, all you ever see is beauty, always.”
—Chunbai Zhang, Boston, MA

Give him a break
“My dad — a theologian and older parent — taught me that if a guy is brave enough to ask you out, and he doesn’t seem like a total con, he deserves one date, even if it’s just coffee and a walk around the block.”
—Sarah Cunningham, New York, NY

Be a kiss-up
“When I was in high school, my dad told me to bring flowers to my date’s mother when I was picking a girl up for the first time. It’s a little cheesy, but it worked. I still bring a little something the first time I visit a girl’s parents’ home.”
—John Wiseman, Tulsa, OK

Follow the golden rule
“My dad told me to never be too available; instead, make him work to get someone as great as me.”
—Elizabeth Harp, Baltimore, MD

Hang in there
“My dad told me that dating is like fishing: You have to cast your line several times before you’ll get a bite. That helps me from getting discouraged.”
—Johnny Palmer, Burlington, VT

Date up
“My dad taught me that I should date a man with an education and one who has more experience than I have—someone who has seen the world and has already dated plenty of women. The reason? That way, when he finds you, he’ll know he’s got a good catch!”
—Anne Meesriyong, DeKalb, IL

Watch out for weasels
“My dad told me that, ‘If a guy offers to show you the view from his apartment or his incredible fish tank, there likely isn’t either.’ He also instilled in me that I shouldn’t waste my time on someone who doesn’t open the door for me or offer to pay on the first date.”
—Lindsay Craig, Atlanta, GA

Don’t work at love
“My father once told me, ‘A relationship should never be a lot of work.’ When people would kvetch about their ‘work-intensive’ relationships, my father would shake his head and say, ‘My relationship has never been work.’ I suspect that if one is, I should run the other way.”
—Lillie Marshall, Boston, MA

Have escape money
“My dad tells me to make sure that I always have money in my pocket when I’m going on a date. He’s old-school and believes in a woman being treated like a queen and expects nothing short of that for his daughters. But for those times when you can’t stand to stay out with a dud any longer, he says you have to be able to pay for your meal — and a cab ride if you need it — so you can escape.”
—Suzan Barnett, Meriden, CT