minnielala2007-11-05 03:13:55回複悄悄話
回複gagawoo的評論:She would have been able to forgive the husband I believe, if there hadn't been the message from that lady who seemed to be the most poisonous snake.-- I wouldn't want to know any details of my husband's intimacies with his ex-girlfriends( I had had boy friends too of course), although we've been happily married for 19yrs. Would you want to know anything yours had with his/her exs? Wouldn't think so.
She forgives,I sense, but it's hard for her to forget. And in her case, it's a torture -- something you treasure the most something you thought it's special between you and him/her actually is shared... The most difficult thing for her is she had a good marriage and it turned out to be a fake, which is called " betrayal"... It's too much for her. She had no choice.
It had nothing to do with pride. It's heart broken.
Hope she recovers if ever she can.
huangshang2007-11-03 13:06:30回複悄悄話
The husband may feel he was more appreciated by the neighbor lady. Even though she destroyed his family, he still married her.
gagawoo2007-11-03 00:20:05回複悄悄話
Being able to forgive is one of the most important virtues as an grown-up. We are not children any longer. We are beyond the age of "you do this, I do that". If the wife does not love the husband, no problem, move on; but if love is still there, she does not need to show people that she is right by not forgiving. A lot of people will have to pay a high price for not being able to forgive. In this story, everybody is paying. WHY? Just to prove she is right? The price is way too high. SAD!
我朋友們都好好的呢,雖然結婚的不多,但結婚的都雙雙對對,在這邊沒後悔過吃苦,卻想過該早點結婚,哈哈哈哈……
男人過度渲染柔情,是性格的嚴重缺陷;女人之剛烈果敢,適合於工作但於家庭必治懦夫或悲劇結局。
但似乎中國男人的通病就是我可以出軌,出軌是可以原諒的。隻要心還在對方身上就可以了。女人是不可以出軌的,尤其是身體上的。如果女人發生了亞出軌,兩人之間還可複合,但女人一旦身體出軌,就什麽都完了……
封建的教育害人哪。
所以這不是強不強勢的問題,而是對事情接受程度的問題。接受不了就放棄吧,不能因為一個表麵十全十美的人背叛過自己就否定了世界上還有別的好男人,也許那個他不會為你開車門,不會為你修水龍頭,但在他心裏會為你在這個充滿誘惑的世界守住一片幹淨的天地。
我覺得沈佳隻是需要更多時間,哪怕當初離婚真有賭氣的成分,既然他不是真正合適她的人,就不應懷疑真有這個人的存在,今後還要有自己的人生路要走,就往前走好了。
人的一生可以有多次感情,但在同一時間裏有多次感情,這人就大大的有問題了。
好幾年過去她一直都未再組家庭,後來斷了消息不知他們現在怎麽樣了。
She forgives,I sense, but it's hard for her to forget. And in her case, it's a torture -- something you treasure the most something you thought it's special between you and him/her actually is shared... The most difficult thing for her is she had a good marriage and it turned out to be a fake, which is called " betrayal"... It's too much for her. She had no choice.
It had nothing to do with pride. It's heart broken.
Hope she recovers if ever she can.
這千瘡百孔的感情啊。
感情上的潔癖,太奢侈的事情了。不知道再過一些年,沈佳是否會後悔。這麽強勢的女人,估計對自己也不會承認的,即使悔得撞頭。
何必呢,人生這麽短。很多事情,沒有必要去強迫它完美。人性本來就是不可信的東西。