Early Dating, Teen Sexuality, & Respect for Women

在網上流覽, 讀到一篇談亞裔少男是否應該早戀的文章. 華人父母一般習慣阻止孩子早戀, 文中作者說, 考慮到在北美的特殊環境, 家長應鼓勵男生早點開始dating, 否則, 孩子在同伴眼中就落伍. 因為家中有少男, 對這種話題, 就忍不住要注目讀下去. 我覺得因為每一個個體成長成熟速度都不同, 每一個孩子所麵對的社會環境也不盡相同, 何時讓孩子開始他們的 romantic relationship 盡可以隨緣. 最重要的是有一個健康的心態. 這是個見仁見智的問題, 父母們由此多一些思考也好. 直到讀到這麽一句話, 讓我忍不住插了一句言, 引來一場舌戰.平時不擅論爭,不過, 對一些基本的行為準則,還是要分清是非吧. 對了, 任何同另一個人的交往,包括友情, 親情,愛情,都涉及到尊重他人. 尊敬他人,也就是尊愛自己. Is this a moral issue?  Maybe it is.

[對方寫道:

說露骨點，有些白女人就隻配睡睡 , and there is a good reason for it 。]

My reply:
You mean sex can be detached from emotion? Unbelievable.
"隻配睡睡"? --why I think it wrong--it's a gross disrespect for females. As a female myself, I don't understand why a mother would teach her son to not respect someone he is about to have sex with.
If you don't think this person is worthy of your respect, don't go to bed (have sex) with her at all.
Parents should teach their children (sons and daughters) not to yield to peer pressure in a rush to lose their virginity without much of thinking of emotion (love).
Do onto others as you would wish them do onto you--has the golden rule lost its validity today?

[對方的回答 : 這種道貌岸然的道德高調，誰不會唱，要你提醒嗎？

聖人啊，請你使鄙人我理解一下，為什麽這世界有不平等啊？
為什麽 ASIAN 　 MEN 要比其他白男人做得好 3 倍，才能 IMPRESS 大眾啊？
你是說你從來不 FIGHT 　 BACK 嗎？
你知道嗎？有些白女人，同男人結婚的目的就是為了贍養費？]

My reply:

Oh, please, I thought I had freedom of speech!

If you don’t want to listen, you may tune me out; if you own this forum then I may leave. Just let me know. Is it “ 道貌岸然的道德高調”? I think it’s bottom line. To have some decency-- If I know my son has one of those girl friends like ” 有些白女人，同男人結婚的目的就是為了贍養費 ”I would advise my son to keep away from her, but not first have sex with her and then abandon her.

Indeed the society has not reached racial equality yet, we need fight back against any racial discrimination and prejudice, but is that the way you fight “racism”? Is it a good idea to fight racism with your own racism? Look what you said here: “ 說露骨點，有些白女人就隻配睡睡”—this is a blatant racist statement!

White or black, yellow or peach, women are women. Women deserve respect.

Teaching our sons to be respectful of other sex (that’s women) is more important for them to have sexual experience and win the popularity contest with their peers. Fight against racial inequality, but don't do it at the cost of women.