Summer shower

EMILY DICKINSON
(美) 艾米麗。迪金森詩選


Summer shower

A drop fell on the apple tree,
Another on the roof;
A half a dozen kissed the eaves,
And made the gables laugh.

A few went out to help the brook,
That went to help the sea.
Myself conjectured, Were they pearls,
What necklaces could be!

The dust replaced in hoisted roads,
The birds jocoser sung;
The sunshine threw his hat away,
The orchards spangles hung.

The breezes brought dejected lutes,
And bathed them in the glee;
The East put out a single flag,
And signed the fete away.


夏雨

水滴在蘋果樹上
另一些落在屋頂
還有些吻著屋簷
山牆在一邊微笑

水滴流進了小溪
然後匯入了海洋
若那水滴是珍珠
串出的項鏈多美

雨水衝洗了塵土
鳥在開心的歌唱
陽光灑滿了大地
果園亮晶晶閃爍

微風奏起了弦樂
果園充滿了歌聲
太陽在東方升起
喜慶的宴會開始

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天澤園你好，

翻譯得自然流暢。用樸素的詞語寫成句子，還堅持每句字數相同，這很不錯的。不過你這首並沒有做到所有句子字數都相同。可是你為什麽不把“一些”簡化成“些”，“一”字可有可無，無它最佳，有它添亂。刪除這個“一”字，不就通篇句子字數相同了嗎？

宋德利