已婚男的悲催

 

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. 

保持婚姻美滿的兩個秘密是：1. 錯了，認錯。2. 對了，閉嘴。
- Shaquille O Neal (Really, I thought it was mine!怎麽不是我說的？)沙奎爾·奧尼爾

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. 

結婚後夫妻倆便像一枚硬幣的兩麵，永遠無法麵對對方卻依舊呆在一起。
- Al Gore阿爾戈爾

 

隻招已婚男

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think us women are weak, dumb, cantankerous...or what?"

美國一小鎮有家頗具規模的工廠隻招已婚男。當地一女士電話質問工廠經理為何隻招已婚男難道女人過於弱小愚蠢脾氣壞好爭吵又八卦難相處。

"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied.

"It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."

經理說根本不是這回事，原因是他們的工人要絕對服從上級命令，習慣於被呼來喚去指使得團團轉，領導當麵發怒咆哮時，工人知道要適時閉嘴保持緘默並且情緒不受影響平靜如常不會回擊領導給領導難堪。

 

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. 

我跟老婆說幾句話而已，她卻跟我長篇大論個沒完。
- Bill Clinton比爾克林頓

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. 

婚姻是唯一獨特的戰爭，在這裏一個人與敵人同床共枕。
- Tommy Lee湯米李

First there's the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing! 

先是定情戒，接著是訂婚戒，然後是結婚戒，不久之後隨之而來的就是懲。。。戒
- Jay Leno傑雷諾

 

 

 

 Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

來源網絡