zt: My top 10 parenting books (by ChiuLan)

Hi there,

I would like to express my gratitude to many of you who actively contribute to this wonderful forum which I have learned a lot from. I have been feeling a little “guilty” about staying simply as a reader and not coming out to show my deep appreciation and support by contributing actively. Parenting books have played a very important role in my journey of motherhood. Let me just share with you a few of them that made the most impacts on me in case some of you may also find them useful:

1. “Your Baby and Child: From Birth to Age Five” – my very first parenting handbook when my two girls were little including using time-in rather than time-out, using alarm clock to signal the start of bedtime routine as well as getting up in the morning, etc.

2. “Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child” – helping me understand the importance of being an emotional coach, and realize that when my kids are frustrated, sad, or angry, those are the moments when they need my emotional coaching, rather than getting frustrated myself.

3. "The Highly Sensitive Child" – helping me understand my older daughter more, who has certain temperaments of this trait.

4. “Siblings Without Rivalry” – calmly addressing rivalries between my two girls and avoiding comparison as much as possible, so important since they are only 15 months apart, also the importance of one-on-one time with each

5. “Mindset” – importance of developing growth mind by focusing on efforts rather than results

6. "Hints on Child Training" – essential fundamentals in parenting including the need to have and express sympathy and support when kids display negative behavior or fail miserably

7. "Your Child's Growing Mind: Brain Development and Learning From Birth to Adolescence" – understand what’s important and what’s not. It really helps me to keep my anxiety low and avoid negative impacts from peer pressure

8. “Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know about Sex” – education on sexuality needs to start early as young as 3-4 years old and encourage age-appropriate discussions.

9. "The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child” – the importance of maintaining a pleasant family atmosphere by focusing on kids’ positive behaviors via proper praise/reward and ignore negative ones if possible

10. Lastly and most importantly, my current parenting “handbook” - “Between Parent and Child” – providing wonderful and detailed guidelines with many real-life examples in communicating with kids. See http://club.pojaa.com/thread-25538-1-1.html for Chinese translation of a few chapters of the book and some follow-up discussions.

Look forward to more sharing on your favorite parenting books, especially for parents with older kids since mine are still little (4&5)!

Enjoy reading and enjoy parenting!

ChiuLan