從一首歌看美國的子女教育

這首歌是【Numb /by Linkin Park】The song spent six weeks at the top of the chart in 2003 and six weeks in 2004, making it the only song in history to be the most successful song of the year on the Hot Modern Rock Tracks chart for two years. 這首歌也是兒子最喜歡的之一，應該是中學生或大學生對父母說的話，看歌詞：

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
...你們總是告訴我該怎麽做，煩死了！

Every step that I take is another mistake to you
...不論我怎麽做，在你們的眼裏總是錯的，我已經麻木了，累了，不想這樣了，

All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you
...我隻是希望我像我自己，不是像你們，

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
...這個 s-mother 詞很有意思，不知和mother 有沒有關係，這不僅僅是煩我是窒息我！事實上偉大無邊的母愛，有時也有可能太沉重，以至於孩子承受不了。

Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
...你期待我做的每件事都在你眼前失敗，越是如此你越要把我緊緊抓住不放鬆，。。。我一秒鍾都承受不了了

And I know I may end up failing too. But I know you were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
...我知道我可能不成功，你呢？也一樣吧（你達到了你父母的期望了嗎？）特別是中國父母，對孩子的期待總是很高，你自己怎麽樣了呢？

如果看這首歌的視屏，裏麵的那個女孩子看著很乖的，喜歡畫畫（也許是父母要求的），卻沒有同齡孩子的快樂，都不愛和她玩，以至於她自己非常地苦惱，最後似乎聽到了這首歌，把自己的畫砸了。

西方的這種教育就是對孩子少管，讓孩子們自己發展。這確實可能成為成功人士，譬如比爾蓋茨或戴爾，記得兩位好像都是大學沒有畢業的。但是這種人能有多少？畢竟還是少數的。東方的教育理念對孩子的管理一般來說很嚴，有些父母希望在孩子的身上創造輝煌，達到自己的理想，這也不好。凡事都不能強求，讓孩子能夠發揮自己的能力，學習好的同時也要有一個幸福的童年，這是一個很難很難的事。給你舉幾個例子，如果在下麵的情況，你會怎麽辦呢？

1. 這個女孩成績優秀，相貌出眾，今年大學最後一年。父母要給她買車子，她堅決不要，計劃自己畢業後騎自行車橫跨美國，父母非常擔心她的安全。

2. 這個男孩成績優秀，畢業於某名牌大學數理統計係，目前在一家大公司工作，工作也不錯。可是最近他表示要辭去工作，去拉斯維加斯專職賭博，他認為他賭博能賺更多的錢。

3. 這個女孩成績優秀，名牌大學博士畢業，有一份不錯的工作，找的一個丈夫卻是成天在家，似乎也沒有找工作的想法，也不怎麽做家務，父母希望女兒能勸她丈夫找一份工作。

個人覺得按照東方的傳統，總是要想辦法幹涉一下的，何況還有“子不教父之過”呢！能影響多少算多少吧，但是盡可能不要讓子女們覺得“煩”了。


I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

[丁莊秀園]

回複樹子的評論:
說得太好了！何況大學隻是一個起點，孩子最後的幸福，成功，對社會的貢獻，是有很多因素決定的。孩子對幸福的標準和父母的標準是不一樣的，

[樹子]

我們對孩子的期望，往往會過高，帶來的失望也更大，對孩子的壓力也大。其實，期望高些，本來沒有錯；錯的是把自己沒能做到的，或別人做到的，不現實地強加給小孩。我看子女壇最近有人發言，諷刺“（這壇子），除了藤校是大學，其它大學都是社區學院”，有點不寒而栗的意思。

[丁莊秀園]

回複tudou!的評論:
謝謝你！我很想聽聽各位怎麽回答，我會多少管一點，還不夠瀟灑

[tudou!]

1,2,3 家長啥都不應做, 不能做.
隻又2是家長的教育失敗,需要反思.在美國,一等一的人是:1.發明家,如Steve Jobs.2.白手起家的企業家,如Bill Gates.

BTW,Bill Gates的母親對他是有管教的.Gates退學,他的媽媽氣昏!