近期忙得八爪朝天，不知是不是Joe的一句“you are one- of- a- kind”令我重拾對工作的激情，每天的嬉笑怒罵應對決斷讓人有了叱吒風雲的錯覺與快感。囂張的氣焰到了家裏就開始低落，不知道這可不可以算做工傷。
上周末尾隨朋友一天奉命捏照，因為之前沒做好功課，以至到了自由女神像前卻無法拍出能看的照片，隻有這張8黑還可一看，送給二歪一解相思耳。
最近二黑表現不錯，每每主動提出送我去某處shopping，可等我真買了東西，他又痛心疾首：你怎麽可以老買東西呢？這太浪費，這是汙染，這不環保、、、
環保看來是他唯一真正投注過關心的問題，我卻沒有他的博大情懷，隻忽閃著眼睛作無辜狀：可我穿這個真的很好看呀！
可你穿什麽都挺好看的呀！
聞此言，一時不知該喜該怒。想起高子曾有文：就算是甜言蜜語，也是said it in a mean way。悲乎哉，老夫老妻。
周日又在店裏對著一雙短靴發呆，買吧，周六剛搬回來一雙；走吧，我又覺得自己肯定會後悔。MJ猶豫之際，赫然看到鞋盒裏貼了一封信：
Hello. This note is going to seem very strange, and I have serious reservations about even writing it, but the circumstances are unusual, so I’ll take a chance. I was on a walk tonight and I noticed that your car has Colorado plates. I met a girl several weeks ago (maybe 3), who was from Colorado, but I haven’t run into her since. By chance, are you Julie who went to Creighton and is a pre-vet student at the University? If so, I met you in the computer lab on the last day of summer session. You seemed like a very down-to-earth person and I hoped that we might meet again. I completely chickened out instead of giving you my phone number or asking you out. All I remember is bumping into you in the lab – I said “what are you working on”… I had been there for hours typing a paper… you turned your computer monitor towards me and said, “well, I just bought these Jeffery Campbell Shoes on line… study break!”
I like your smile, and your taste in shoes. So I’m going out on a limb here by leaving a hope. Trust me when I say that This is *EXTREMELY* out of character for me. I hope I haven’t made you uncomfortable in any way. You made an impression on me and I’d kick myself for passing up a second opportunity to give you my #. Please don’t take this as some kind of a crazy stalker note. Maybe I’ll hear form you, though I’d be very surprised given how weird this seems.
Take Care.
---Alex ****
This letter was found and anonymously mailed to our LA Office in 2006. It was post-marked Boise, Idaho. There was no return address. We never found the sender, or the girl mentioned in the letter.
這比山楂還山楂的純情故事怎麽就被我碰上了，這鞋要再不買，簡直是天理難容嘛。趕緊拎回家向二黑獻寶，二黑一讀之下，嗤之以鼻：這麽明顯的marketing你居然還當真？
此人何止是不浪漫，簡直是很陰暗。我怒道：這有什麽好marketing的？！
那你不是買了麽？
語塞。再定睛看時，居然我那鞋也根本不是什麽Jeffery Campbell的。整個事件看起來都是那麽錯亂，但隻要我神氣活現地穿上了這棕色的小短靴，又有什麽深究的必要。
8黑二年級的老師似乎很對2黑的口味，想來應該是頭發不似Mrs. Gallo般梳得高聳入雲，且喜歡用電腦交流。我們也用全新的眼光打量著8黑，希望他能重整旗鼓重新做人，給新老師一個好印象一洗一年都沒得過student of the month之恥——2黑那天在聽我第N次提此事時聳聳肩道：That’s okay, he’s just not Mrs. Gallo’s favorite.
這樣的話在好勝如我者聽來，即使算不上晴天霹靂，至少也帶了點兒直麵人生的非凡勇氣，一時之間，百感交集。
然而8黑同學竟自一落千丈了。想從前，我還曾得意洋洋地發貼揚言黑家出了個大詩人，現在不僅沒有詩人之風采，每周2篇Journal可用慘不忍讀來形容。有一天的很有代表性，摘之：
Date: 09/29/10
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I went to Six Flags for a ride on the water. For most of the rides, I was too small. But first I went to the water-park. I loved the dumping part, I got to dump water on people, he-owwwww!!!-ads-man!
Now, let’s get back to the ride. The line was LONG!!! Oh was in ever! I had to wait 30 minutes-it’s half an hour! Finally we got to in. Yay! The ride! It was so wild…. But……
Ummmm, if you want to know more information, go to TONY***.com. Hopefully you’ll not find it! I hipe you don’t. If not, I don't have any extra work to do!
如果非要從這段很弱智的話裏找笑點，我想這but以後的應該挺有趣的了。結果老師開始評判：
第一段的AHHHHHH被置疑：why is this here? How does it relate to your story?
But後麵的全部被框起來，評：No. This is not acceptable. You need to write the end of your story.
我還沒來得及抹殺之前的笑意以保持與老師的一致，8黑的應對讓我徹底暈倒：
End of Story:
The AHHHHHH!!! belonged to the ride. End!
今早臨出門前8黑說前麵頭發擋著眼睛，於是我當機立斷三兩剪解決了一下問題。晚上到家越看這鍋蓋頭越覺得滑稽可笑，說：你看起來像個傻丫頭。
他又展示了強大的中譯英能力：You mean I look like silly goose with a human head?
到俺們這兒來討論？嘿嘿，別和俺談鋼琴，提起來俺就氣憤。每天按著兩個在琴凳上，自己都不知道為啥，娃更不知道為啥。。。。兩個都是非常沒有細胞的。
你家8黑唱歌很有譜，想來耳朵不錯啊，應該學起來不難的。。。。俺家的兩個都跑調兒，唉，遺傳啊，都漏風。。。
啥眼神？
明明風華正茂的
那封信到底真的假的呀？？
最近越看你家小2越可耐，真是你的天敵呀，卡卡~