苦差事

這種天要出差到紐約上州那旮瘩去可真是活見鬼了。沒法子，誰讓俺們給資本家打工涅，上來冒個泡倒倒苦水便要動身。早晨5點半便給兒子學校的Delay電話吵醒不提，等會兒還得坐六小時的車還真真的遭罪，但願路上一路順風。

9：00pm
一路順風到達Cortland，不過六小時的車可是坐的腰酸背疼。入住登記時公司的信用卡竟然給踢了回來，想來是俺久不出差，連卡都不認識俺了，隻好自己先掏腰包墊上。紐約上州這旮瘩真夠荒涼的，為吃頓晚飯楞是在小城轉了三圈也沒找到家有人氣的餐館，最後還是經加油站的大嫂指點，在一家叫好萊塢的餐館吃了頓還像回事的晚餐。晚餐點的是Shore Dinner，油炸的Haddock，Clam, Scallops, Shrimp。分量真大，三分之一都沒吃掉，後悔一開始幹掉一大塊麵包和一盤沙拉。

餐館出來凍的腿腳都不利索了，哆哆嗦嗦的一路抖到車裏，一看車上的溫度計顯示7F。Mike Mark怨聲載道說俺們到這幹嘛來了。就是啊，大冷天的，到這疙瘩來，咳！

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.

Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.

Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

雖然我們喜歡認為人民在我們的生活中是調教好，愉快，健康重視的個體，我們有時意識到它就是不那麽是。 親自，我有片刻，我通過我的天跳，愉快和可以是，認為生活盛大的，並且BAM，我由設法敲愉快的風在我的風帆外麵的人思想僵化的。 有時把它描寫和其他次描寫，不非常是容易的。

可能你是一個正麵人，但是，當你是在某一個體附近時，你感到消極。 或者，你可能有世界的一個理想主義的看法，並且，當你是以某些人時，你使感到傻，不切實際或者幻想。 或者，你可能自傲在是完全獨立的和由你的生活控製，但是，當你是在某一家庭成員附近時，你退步入童年狀態。

其中一些情況，和是，這些人，在我們的生活可能有巨大地消極衝擊。 並且，雖然我們是所有人的並且有我們的‘問題’，一些‘問題’相當坦率地是，毒性。 他們是毒性的到我們的幸福。 他們是毒性的到我們的精神外型。 他們是毒性的到我們的自尊。 並且他們是毒性的到我們的生活。 他們可以吮生活在我們外麵和甚而縮短我們的壽命。

這最壞毒性個性那裏和如何察覺他們：

1. 操縱瑪麗： 這些個體是專家在操作戰術。 是實際，你可能不甚而體會你被操作了，直到太晚。 這些個體推測什麽你的‘按鈕’是，並且推擠他們得到什麽他們想要。

他們為什麽是毒性的： 這些人有方式侵蝕你的信仰係統和自尊。 他們發現方式做你做你不一定想要做的事，並且，在你知道它之前，你丟失身分你的感覺，你的個人優先權和你的能力看情況的現實。 世界突然變得在他們的需要和他們的優先權附近集中。
2. 自戀的南希： 這些人有高傲極端感覺並且相信世界圍繞他們。 他們經常不是一樣狡猾的，象世界的操縱Marys，反而，傾向於有點兒公開關於得到他們的需要適應。 你經常想要對他們說" 它總是不是關於you."

他們為什麽是毒性的： 他們單獨地集中於他們的需要，把你的需要留在塵土。 你留給失望和未實現。 進一步，他們通過使你非常集中摧毀你的能量於他們，你什麽都沒有為你自己。
3. 德比下麵： 這些人在生活中不可能讚賞正麵。 如果你告訴他們它是一美好的天，他們將告訴你關於緊急慘淡的展望。 如果你告訴他們你優勝了突破期中考，他們將告訴你關於困難決賽怎樣是。

他們為什麽是毒性的： 他們采取喜悅在一切外麵。 你的玫瑰色外型在生活繼續得到壓與否定性。 在你知道它之前，他們的否定性消耗你，並且你開始看事與灰色色的玻璃。
4. 主觀Jims ： 當你看事物如逗人喜愛和古怪時，他們看事物如奇怪和不吸引人。 如果你發現人的獨特的眼光刷新，他們發現他們‘錯誤’。 如果你喜歡某人的折衷口味，他們發現它‘令人困擾’或‘壞’。

他們為什麽是毒性的： 主觀人民是很象德比下麵。 在世界，自由敲響，評斷sooo結束。 如果世界是一個同類的地方，生活是俏麗的乏味。 很多時間花費與這些類型可能疏忽地轉換你成一個主觀人。

5. 夢想殺害Keiths ： 在你有一個想法時候，這些人為什麽告訴你你做不了。 當你達到，他們設法拉下你。 因為你作夢，他們是告訴它是不可能的你的一個。

他們為什麽是毒性的： 這些人在什麽被困住是而不是什麽可能是。 進一步，這些個體在你自己侵蝕你的自尊和你的信仰。 進展和變動可能從做新的事和創新，作不可能和到達隻發生為星。
6. 虛偽Illissas ： 你從未相當認為這些人是懇切的。 你講一個滑稽可笑的故事，他們給你禮貌的笑。 你感到沮喪和哀傷和他們給你‘那裏，那裏’鍵入反應。 你告訴他們你被激發關於某事，並且你得到一個非常厭倦的反應。

他們為什麽是毒性的： 不是懇切或真正修造關係在表麵標準的人們。 這助長淺，無意義的關係。 當你真正地是需要朋友，他們不會在那裏。 當你真正地需要建設性批評時，他們寧可將告訴你你是偉大的你是的方式。 當你需要支持時，他們寧可會看見你出故障或出自己的洋相。

7. 不恭的Dannys ： 這些人將說或做事至多不適當的時間和用最不適當的方式。 實質上，他們是更加微妙，長大的惡霸。 可能這個人是你傾訴並且使用你的秘密反對你的朋友。 可能它是放他們的好事者鼻子入你的事理的家庭成員，當它是無他們的事務時。 或者可能，它是對你說侮辱的事的同事。

他們為什麽是毒性的： 這些人沒有界限感覺，並且不尊敬你的感覺或，就此而言，你的保密性。 這些人將造成你感覺沮喪和不尊重。
8. 從未足夠的Nellies ： 你不能給足夠這些人使他們愉快。 他們采取你為授予並且有不切實際的期望你。 他們發現辦法不斷地非難你和從未承擔任何東西的責任他們自己。

他們為什麽是毒性的： 你非常將花費時間設法取悅他們，你將導致失去在過程中的那。 他們將要求所有你的時間和能量，留給你被用完和你被犧牲的自己的需要。
所有這些個性有幾件事共同興趣。 1)越多這些人逃脫他們的行為，越多他們將繼續。 2)不幸地，大多數這些人沒看見什麽他們是錯誤的結果，並且，談話和他們對此將沒被理睬，留下想知道你是否的你是瘋狂一個。 3)大多數這些人得到壞與年齡，使他們的對你的衝擊加強與時間。

坦率地，生活太短的以至於不能花費你的應付毒力的時間。 如果你能，避免消費mucho時間與是表示的這些行為的人和你將感到很更加愉快。 你遇到了這些個性？ 你做了什麽？ 你會增加的任何個性？