素不相識
萍水相逢
正文
－－－－－－－－－－由素不相識翻譯－－－－－－－－－－
Paddy 正滿頭大汗地在找停車位，他要趕去參加一個重要的會議。抬頭仰望蒼天他祈禱道，“上帝啊！可憐可憐我吧。如果你能給我找著一個位子的話，我保證從今往後每個禮拜天都到教堂去做禮拜並且戒掉我的愛爾蘭威士忌。
奇跡般地，一個停車位出現了。
Paddy又朝天上望著說，“不必了，我找著了一個。”
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Murphy 神父走進了Donegal的一間酒吧，他對見到的第一個人說“你想進天堂嗎？”
Murphy 神父走進了Donegal的一間酒吧，他對見到的第一個人說“你想進天堂嗎？”
那人說“當然了，神父。”
神父說“那就到牆那邊站好。”
然後神父又問第二個人“你想進天堂嗎？”
“是的，神父。”那人這麽回答著
“到牆那邊站好了。”神父說
然後Muphy神父 走到O'Toole的麵前問他說“你想進天堂嗎？”
O'Toole說“不，我不想。神父。”
神父說“我簡直不能相信，你是在告訴我，當你死了以後，你不願意到天堂去？”
O"Toole說 “噢，當我死了以後是要去的。我以為你現在就讓大家集合到那兒去呢。”
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Gallagher打開晨報時簡直呆掉了。報上的訃告說他死了。他趕緊給他的好友Finney打電話。
“你看報了嗎？”Gallagher問道 “他們說我死了。”
“是啊， 我看了！”Finney 回答道 “你從哪兒打來的？”.....言下之意是不是從天堂裏打來的。
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一個愛爾蘭牧師開車去紐約的路上因為超速在康洲給攔了下來。警察聞道了牧師呼出的酒味，看到了車裏的空酒瓶。
他說“先生，你喝過酒了？”
“隻是水” 牧師說
“那為什麽聞起來是酒呢？”
牧師看看酒瓶說，“上帝啊！他又幹了一回！”.......聖經裏有個故事耶穌能將水變成酒。
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進了酒吧 Mike 對調酒師Charlie說 “給我來杯厲害的，剛和那個小婦人打了一架”
“噢，是嗎？”Charlie說“這次是什麽結果啊？”
“結束的時候，”Mike說“她的手腳都在地上那。”
“真的？”Charles說 “這次倒是反過來了，她怎麽說的？”
她說“從床下爬出來，你個膽小鬼。”
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Flynn跟他的酒肉朋友Paddy喝了一晚的酒後很晚才搖搖晃晃地回到了家。為了不吵醒太太Mary，他進門時將鞋脫了。
他踮著腳尖盡可能輕輕地上樓。但一步沒踏好失去了平衡，他趕緊抓著樓梯扶手，搖晃了幾下還是重重地一屁股摔在了地上。褲子後袋裏的威士忌酒瓶也給砸碎了，使得硬著陸更加痛苦無比。
強忍著痛沒叫出聲來，Flynn掙紮著站了起來。脫下褲子照著鏡子一看，屁屁也開花流血了。找來一盒Band-Aid進了最大的努力將所有有血的地方都給貼上。最後他將幾乎空了的Band-Aid盒子藏藏好，然後磕磕絆絆地爬上了床。
早上醒來Flynn是頭痛屁股痛，Mary則在屋子的另一端拿眼瞪著他。
早上醒來Flynn是頭痛屁股痛，Mary則在屋子的另一端拿眼瞪著他。
她說“你昨晚又喝醉了，是不是？”
Flynn說“你為什麽要說的這麽刻薄？”
“啊，”Mary說，“也許是因為這敞開的大門，也許是因為樓梯口上的碎酒瓶，也許是因為房子裏的血跡，還有你那布滿血絲的雙眼，但是.....最重要的.....是那些貼在鏡子上的Band-Aid!”
--------------------------------原文----------------------------------------------
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
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Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
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Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
ababab
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An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
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Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees."
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."
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Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed .
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."
--------------------------------原文----------------------------------------------
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
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Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
ababab
------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees."
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed .
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."
評論
素不相識
2007-05-17 13:51:06
回複
悄悄話
回複tenyu的評論:當然~當然~不必客氣!
tenyu
2007-05-17 09:16:12
回複
悄悄話
謝謝你！辛苦了。我可以轉貼嗎？
素不相識
2007-05-15 13:20:30
回複
悄悄話
你好tenyu,原文找到了.加在翻譯後麵.Enjoy!
tenyu
2007-05-14 05:09:04
回複
悄悄話
你好：能找到英語原文嗎？
登錄後才可評論.
