A Testimony to Share Some of the Experience about How Holy Spirit Changed My Life
1. Used to be justifying oneself:
I always thought myself a good person. When I was in the elementary school, no matter to elect Excellent Student or Good Leader, I often got the highest votes and that was also what I pursued. When I was in the university, the Dean of our grade once told me that in a anonymous survey of the three candidates to join the Party, I got the best appraisal. Fortunately, I went aboard to the US soon after such that I did not join the Party. One of my classmates in the same dorm once said that a person like me won’t fit well in the complicated society, and I often thought the same. Therefore, in the beginning, when I was grabbed by others to joint in learning the teachings of LORD Jesus Christ, I even said impatiently: “Keep on learning the similar principles since young, but these do not seem to work well in the society at all! Is there anyone who can teach me something else?” Thanks be to God who guard my mind and thoughts, I became a Christian in an early stage and did not learn any other principles.
2. Became a Christian but did not grow for many years:
I became a Christian because of a trip to Jerusalem. I had been to Jerusalem to both learn and work in Hebrew University for about one month. When I visited the old city of Jerusalem and walked on the road that LORD Jesus Christ used to walk on to be crucified, my eyes were wet and I couldn’t hold back the tears. I couldn’t figure out and reason on His willingness to be crucified. About one more month after getting back from Jerusalem, I was baptized to be a Christian. That was in 1998. Before the baptism, the pastor hurriedly asked me whether I admitted that I am a sinner or not, and he added immediately that everyone is a sinner. Although I said yes at that time, I didn’t really think it that way. Of course, now I know the importance to admit to be a sinner and repent. A person who doesn’t admit one is a sinner and repent, does not really know LORD Jesus Christ and won’t have the life of God. Although I became a Christian, I didn’t grow up in the first 6 years for I was very busy with studying and working. By the end of 2004, except going to church to hear the preaching on Sunday and joining the Bible studying group now and then, I almost never read the Bible by myself. Only occasionally read some free magazines such as “Overseas Campus” and “Chinese Today Monthly”.
3. Starting to pray in 2003:
I don’t know that as Christians we should pray until 2002 after I came to work in Silicon Valley. In the beginning of 2003, Pastor Mok of the church gave a course on “Spiritual Life Growing Up”. The wife of the Elder put the name of my husband and I on the list before we could say no. So we joined the class and learned to pray, ponder and write the spiritual diary. From then on, I started to pray. I didn’t know what to pray for at that time because I always believed that “asking oneself is better than asking others for help”, no mention to asking God for help. Also at that time, I didn’t pay attention to “the prayer of LORD” in the Bible and didn’t know that we should pray for the kingdom of God. I simply prayed that heavenly Father take care of our life everyday before sleeping. Sometimes I forgot to pray, I will have a nightmare. The next morning when I woke up and thought about it, only then I remembered that I forgot to pray. After repeating as such for several times, I form the habit to pray every night. Now when I retrospect it, I know it is a protection from God. Thanks be to God!
4. The first prayer was answered:
The first time I prayed for the practical needs earnestly was on Jun. 2003. The economy of US was on recession and many companies in silicon valley were shut down. The company that I was in was about to close. According to the Yahoo news, the rate of unemployment was record high on that month. And I was pregnant. For the first time, I prayed earnestly for looking for a job. Within 2 weeks, I got 3 offers. Even my husband said with a surprise: “How come you pray for one and you will get one?” And my sister who was not a Christian at that time also said: “ This is really the arrangement of God!”
However, my gratitude to God slowly faded later on. When I thought about it again, I thought maybe it’s because my major is good and I am capable. May God forgive my ungratefulness and ignorance before.
5. A weak faith:
Although starting from 2003, I pray every day and my first earnest prayer was answered. My faith was still weak. My thought about the existence of God and heaven was “maybe”. Every weekend, when I was hiking besides the brook and in the hills, I still felt in the low spirit on the short span of life. My life was not different from what it was before I became a believer; my mind was filled up with the troubles and worries in the life and work.
6. Holy Spirit changed my life:
On November of 2004, when I truly realized that every word in the Bible is about the most important facts and truth, and also, knew that nowadays God work in the same way as He worked in the age of the disciples, I pled to God in front of others in the Bible studying group gathering: “I would like ‘to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with God.’ (Micah 6:8)”. I don’t know the significance of this invitation at that moment. Only several months later, when I retrospect, I knew that God did hear me and completely changed my entire life from then on. All praises and thanks be to God!
As mentioned above, starting from November of 2004, I experience the special grace from the LORD. However, since I have no any idea of the work of Holy Spirit, I simply took it as prayers got granted at the first 9 months. On one hand, I was amazed that the relationship between man and God is completely different from the age of Old Testament and Jesus Christ did resurrect and rebuild the temple in 3 days; on the other hand, I often felt difficult to give all the testimonies to others for they are so detailed and trivial. Therefore, on April of 2005, I prayed and asked LORD this question: “ What He ask of me to give me these experience?” The answer is: “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” (Phi 2:1-5) Right on the next day, a previous church friend sent me an email. I gave her this testimony in reply to her email.
Only after experiencing the truthfulness of God, I saw my own deficit. In the beginning, when I turned in the contribution in church, I thought it as the activity fee; later, I let my husband to take charge of it. I would neither take care of it nor know about it. Because if it was not much, I would feel guilty; if it was much, I would feel a heart-ach. Only after that, I started to willingly turn in one tenth of income as the contribution. Actually everything belongs to God, we are just the temporary managers. Everything belongs to God, and we should contribute more to the work for God. After that, I started to initiatively preach gospel to others, buy books and CDs, and give them to people I met or friends and relatives. Of course, even now what I do is far from enough. Also I have learned from Holy Spirit that He never let go any chance to preach gospel, even the slightest chance and the chances that couldn’t see any effective results at the time.
The first time I was disciplined by Holy Spirit was when I made a regular phone call of each week to my mother. While listening to my mother’s phone call for more than half an hour, I became impatient and had complains in mind, thinking that I should have turned on the TV to the silent category from the beginning. These complaints were still in my mind after I hang up the phone and turned on the TV. I was disciplined by Holy Spirit for this.
By the end of last July, I happened to know what I experienced is not abnormal. It is the work from Holy Spirit. I don't know before that Holy Spirit is also a God besides Father and Jesus Christ. Holy Spirit's dwelling-in is normal for Christians. And it is the promise of LORD to all the believers and the assurance of heaven and being with God.
After knowing that it is the work of Holy Spirit, and the assurance of the eternal life, I was very glad and exciting and said to others: “ much happier than winning a lottery.” Being a Christian for many years, a feeling that have been instilled into me was that believing in God was as if giving a favor to God (may God forgive my ignorance before). “ LORD, let me enter your eternal dwelling.” I prayed. However, it turns out that I am far from being qualified. God are completely holy, and do not tolerate any sins. Although before I never hurt others deliberately, I was selfish and was cold and indifferent to others, seldom help others initiatively. Also, I was often hold complaints and angers in my mind to those who hurt me. I considered my own business only but not God’s. Seldom do good and share with others. Only after Holy Spirit made Himself known to me, I really know that I am a sinner, a ungodly person, and far from being a righteous person.
“To be holy and a saint?” “Do not love the world?” “Denying oneself?” I never think of being a saint before. I only want to live a happy life and be an averaged person and enjoy my life. However, following Holy Spirit, I started to learn these lessons.
Buying cookies for the kids of the Sunday school, I felt it pleasing Holy Spirit and being approved by Him; ignoring the request of contribution from the charity, I felt the rebuke from Holy Spirit and correct it; giving money to the bagger is what one should do; the hobbies of dining in the restaurant and watching TV do not please Holy Spirit. I would like to sacrificing my life for LORD, but to give up watching TV seemed even more difficult. However, the shock and reverence through experiencing Holy Spirit made me finally give up the hobby of watching TV. One who loves the world won’t have place in mind to love God. Loving God wholeheartedly is most important and the best. Only by following Holy Spirit, I get to know that any self-complacency and self-satisfaction is a poison for our Spirit. To be holy and a saint is the will of God for us; we can not rely on ourselves to be holy; but by relying on Christ, we can. To be holy is like to live a healthy life -- self-control and self-discipline bring the pleasure of healthy body; it is a pleasure that can’t be tasted by those who are indulged in sinful nature and only gratifying their own desires. God are the One who created us, and do as He said must be the best for us.
I am still making efforts to follow Holy Spirit right now, pressing on to be holy and to be one in Christ; I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The following is some of what I have learned to share:
(1) Don’t pursue worldly things; don’t care too much about the gain and loss of the worldly materials and benefit; because everything is temporary, we are only the temporary managers. Knowing that everything belongs to God and are from God, we will be generous on giving. Trying one’s best to live a simple life, and keeping our needs to the lowest level, we will have extra to give to others and help others.
Get rid of all the worldly hobbies and self-pride, rejoice in God only.
(2) Our attitude and mind should be the same as that of Christ. It is because of knowing LORD and knowing He love us first even when we are not lovely, that we are able to love others with the love from LORD, are able to do good and what is righteous, and also lead others to righteousness. And everyone is our brother, “whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me (LORD Christ).” (Mat 25:40) This is the teaching from LORD.
(3) Knowing that LORD know everything, we won’t hold a bad feeling because of other’s misunderstandings or the slanders on our name; knowing that LORD know everything and will judge everything with absolute righteousness, we won’t judge others, or hold the hatred against those who have hurt us, or even do crimes to take a revenge. To be the righteous and the honest, one should be quiet and have wisdom. To be the righteous, one should be a hard working person first.
(4) Knowing that LORD have all the power and authority, we won’t worry about the future, all the things, success and failure any more. As long as we walk in the will of God and live according to His teachings, we know that everything is in His hand, and He will surely take care of us. Let LORD be our strength and support.
(5) Always give thanks and praises to God. Let the joy and love from God fill up us; we will then be away from sins and evils.
Of course, the words in the Bible best tell us about all that we should know and obey. Reading the Bible more will let one understand the truth more completely.
If without the work and rescue from Holy Spirit, if I was continually living in the old way and lived my entire life without making the changes, I am afraid that I won’t be able to enter the kingdom of heaven. Thanks and praises be to God! Let me know surely of Him when I am alive, and let me learn the word of His righteousness under the guidance of Holy Spirit. And also pass on the truth of “To Be One in Christ” to other Christians, in order that we will all get the grace and be built together. All thanks, praises and glories be to God!