從frustration中教孩子人生

兒子這個禮拜的家庭作業之一是記住一首詩。詩並不長，隻有半頁紙。但對不喜歡記憶和不善於記憶的兒子來講，依然是一項挑戰。

禮拜一拿到了任務，告訴老爸說：要到禮拜四才檢查。別著急，我能對付。

老爸隻能放他一馬，不值得每天都為這種事情打架吧。但老爸說，你還是讀幾遍吧，不然會記不住的。兒子嘴裏答應著，腦子卻在他的遊戲上了。

禮拜二小人兒開始用功了。一遍一遍，十幾遍過去了，可還是記不住。開始著急了：“Dad, I can't remember it！”

老爸在旁邊笑笑：“You forget how you remember your piano recital piece? Try a few times, and then go on for something else, then come back to try again. You have to do this circle for 3-5 times everyday.”

禮拜三老爸下班，兒子匯報：“I tried even in the school。 I get half done by now. I will get the next half memorized before I go to bed.”

嗬嗬，吃了飯，要隨媽媽出門玩一個小時，回來又急了。還是記不住。老爸讓他先洗澡，清醒一下，再開始。每一個循環，總給兒子中間一點時間轉移注意力。十來 個循環賽下來，兒子宣布記住了，就開始看電視。九點了，到了快上床的時間，老爸提醒一下，兒子又開始一個循環。但中間一句怎麽也記不住：“It's too hard, dad.”眼淚都快出來了。

老爸說：“睡覺吧，明天早晨還有時間呢。”人家說不行，萬一記不住，就隻能是B-了。老爸啞然失笑：“Listen, son. Like your Taekwondo, memorizing something takes time. It takes you 4 months to go up one belt level. So you have to be patient. The lesson you learned from this and Taekwondo is very clear--There are some skills to learn so you can master something faster. However, in most cases, it is the time you spend that counts the most. If you had 

started on Monday, you might have been much better by now. So you should take this as a lesson, too. Don‘t always say later, later,and later. You have worked hard for the last 2 days, so you can tell you that you have tried your hardest. If you don't memorize it tomorrow in your classroom, it is fine to get a B-. You know, in our life, there are always somethings we want to achieve, but no matter how hard we try, we may not get it. So as long as you have tried your hardest, you should be proud of yourself even you did not reach your goal. Good night and have a nice dream."

兒子依然上好了鬧鍾。今天6點半就起床，邊吃早飯邊記。到老爸送他上校車時，小人兒說終於記住了。


唉，教孩子掌握這個分寸，懂得什麽時候要”推“自己，什麽時候要學會”放棄“真不是一件容易的事。

(二0一0年二月四日）