Punishment at school: How to protect your child (zt)

Your son comes home from school with a red welt on his arm. When you ask what happened, he says that his teacher grabbed him hard, until it hurt. How can this be? you wonder. Your son doesn't usually lie, but the idea that an adult would harm him at school seems so horrendous, you can't believe it actually happened.

Well, believe it. Corporal punishment — or physical abuse — is still allowed as a method of discipline in public schools in 23 states. And some teachers still practice it. Corporal punishment can take many forms, including paddling, spanking, grabbing, or shaking children. If a teacher or administrator washes a child's mouth out with soap, forces him to stand for long periods of time, won't let him go to the bathroom, lifts him by his clothing or neck, or subjects him to other forms of rough physical handling, this is also considered corporal punishment.

Read on to find out what you need to know about corporal punishment and how you can keep your child from being hurt.

Does my state allow physical punishment in school?
States and U.S. possessions that DO allow corporal punishment: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Puerto Rico, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Wyoming

States and districts that DO NOT allow corporal punishment: Alaska, California, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Dakota, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, Washington D.C., West Virginia, Wisconsin

The 28 states (plus Washington D.C.) that have banned corporal punishment allow no form of physical punishment in school. Should your child be subjected to this type of abuse, remove him from the class and report the incident to the school superintendent. Then follow the advice below about seeking medical and legal help.

How can I protect my child if my state sanctions physical abuse?
Even if you live in a state that allows physical punishment at school, you can still take steps to protect your child.
• Ask for a written copy of the school district's punishment policy. Even if your state sanctions it, your school district may not tolerate physical punishment. If such a district-wide ban is in effect, then every school must adhere to this policy.

• Next, find out about the school's policy. The principal or the teacher, respectively, may forbid the use of physical punishment in the school or classroom.

• Make your wishes known early. Even if physical punishment is allowed, you can insist that your child not be harmed. Jordan Riak, executive director of Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education (and author of Plain Talk about Spanking), advises parents to speak up at the beginning of the school year before any disciplinary issues have the chance to erupt. "Don't wait until your child is traumatized," he says.

• Put it in writing. Ask a lawyer to draft a letter on legal stationery stating that you are withdrawing your permission for the school to physically punish your child. If you don't have a lawyer, you can write a letter on your own using our template as a guide. Address this letter to your child's teacher, the school principal, the district superintendent, and the state superintendent of education. If you want to add fuel to your letter, Riak recommends telling school administrators that corporal punishment violates your religious beliefs, even if you have other reasons for requesting that it not be used. (Most schools accept and respect this as a reason to not physically punish a child.) When your letter is ready, send it by certified mail to all parties and keep copies for yourself.

What should I do if my child is hurt by an adult at school?
Welcoming your child off the school bus and finding a welt on his arm caused by a teacher can make you feel agitated, angry, and powerless. But try to stay calm. It's best to tend to his emotional needs first. Sit down with him and tell him that you're going to make sure this doesn't happen again. Explain that you'd like him to tell you what happened, and that you're going to write it all down, as if you were writing a story.

If possible, take a photo of the injury. Next, make an appointment with your pediatrician as soon as you can so he can see the extent of the injury. Explain the reason for your visit when you call. Your doctor will document the injury in your child's record, which you can use for legal action should the need arise.

With this documentation in hand, make an appointment with the school superintendent. Use this meeting to discuss the incident, and explain that your child needs to be transferred to a new class. If the superintendent seems unresponsive or unsympathetic, report the incident to the police or other authorities.


What if I'm not sure whether my child is being hurt?
Sometimes a child may complain that he has been abused by an adult at school, but he has no physical signs. Other children may be subjected to corporal punishment but don't talk about it. If you have any suspicions, be on the alert for certain telltale symptoms: Look for changes in his behavior. Does your child, who used to bound out of bed, eager for school, now dawdle and complain of stomachaches? Does he refuse to get on the school bus? Has he stopped talking about school, though he used to love to tell you about his day? Does he burst out crying for no reason? Is he suddenly afraid to sleep? Has he developed eating problems?

If you notice any of these emotional red flags, try to ask gentle questions such as, "Did something happen at school that scared or upset you?" He may begin to talk about the incident if he's presented with such an opening. Also, try to look for physical signs of abuse when your child is changing or bathing. You can also consult with other parents to see whether their children are behaving in similar ways.

These episodes are always emotionally draining, but if you are able to show your child that you are taking steps to protect and support him, then he will probably come through the incident feeling strong — and so will you.

Where can I get more information?

• Consult a children's mental health professional if the problem worsens. She may be able to help your child open up and talk about what's wrong — whether it turns out to be physical abuse at school or something else entirely.

• Visit the Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education site for the latest news and research on corporal punishment, to find out why it's so dangerous, where it's most prevalent in the United States, and to get ideas on how you can protest it in your area.

• Contact the National Center for the Study of Corporal Punishment and Alternatives to find out how to lobby politicians to ban corporal punishment in your schools, and where to sign up for parenting seminars about non-physical forms of punishment and how to prevent behavior problems.