中國人說:有人漏夜趕考場,有人辭官歸故裏。洋人說:one man's meat is another man's poison. 這才是一個真實的世界。每個人都應該勇敢地追隨自己的內心所好,邁出自己堅實的腳步,不要去聽他人的風言風語。預祝您們幸福的晚年。
elfie 發表評論於
I don't like living in China. I have left there for 25 years. China is totally not for me. I love my car, my freedom and the quietness in my town. No one bothers to tell you what to do in this country and how to live your life. China is just the opposite. In China everyone you know is trying to step into your life. I don't want to hear all that anymore, such as you must buy this and that, practice this and that, every day they try to make you a different person than you are! I totally shut down the noise coming from my mother by not answering her messages. I don't need it.
最近看了科教紀錄片《Secrets of the Blue Zones》,探討世界幾個地區長壽的奧秘。
其中一個地區是衝繩。研究人員認為衝繩人長壽的原因之一是:老人和大家庭住在一起。這樣,既有生活的意義(幫忙做家務、看孩子),又不孤獨。心理健康有助於身體健康。心情不好會導致身體出問題。
有一個形容美國的說法:“兒童的天堂,成人的戰場,老人的墳墓。” 在美國,人老了身體不方便以後,想住到下一輩家裏是幾乎不可能的。住進老人院,就跟家庭、親戚、熟人來往很少。社會往往寧願閉著眼睛,不去想人生最後那個階段。
記得過去看過一個電視連續劇《Frasier》,無線電台工作人員 Roz 被法庭判決,做義工。她選擇的義工方式是到老人院給孤獨的老人朗讀書。有好幾次,都是念著念著,老人就死了。
Go back to China is a good idea. Chino is in the wilderness. Leave your daughters life to their family. Chinese families try too hard to stay with their daughter - this will not result in no one's happiness, except for your daughter. Their "small family" needs to grow - and they don't belong to you anymore. Good luck.