中間兩聯的對仗很有韻味。第六句和第八句中第6字的平仄再斟酌一下?
所有跟帖:
• 謝謝!多謝好建議,改了 ~~ -天玉之- ♀ (24 bytes) () 09/21/2023 postreply 20:45:20
• 謝謝!多謝好建議,改了 ~~ -天玉之- ♀ (24 bytes) () 09/21/2023 postreply 20:45:20
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