1. Monotonous sentence structures. In the short passage, at least 7 sentences have “it was…”
Well, IT WAS a bad habit.
I further noticed another sentence pattern – a sentence + comma + a supplementary phrase. I don’t know if this proper, but it definitely seems repetitive and predictive:)
a. I touched down at Beijing International Airport on Saturday afternoon, more than slightly dazed for which a John Grisham novel was to blame..
b. I felt the slight irritation in my nose and throat the minute I stepped out of the airport,
not an assuring sign for good air quality at all.
c. It was a set of nice little snacks, courtesy of Marriott..
2. Redundant expressions:
a. It's as if the very fact of talking about allergy medication would make my wishful thinking of an allergy a fact.
àIt's as if talking about allergy medication would make my wishful thinking a fact.
b. I felt the slight irritation in my nose and throat the minute I stepped out of the airport…
à My nose and throat felt slightly irritated in the minute I stepped out of the airport…
3. Grammar:
a. and only then I realized that…
è and only then did I realize that…
Don’t know how well these comments will be received. Probably I should focus on Hanhan’s writing more. Hahah~
