I think 一夕傾心逢 is better.

Same meaning but better order. and 一夕傾心 is even better.
eg. 一夕傾心意終生
here 終生 is a little "mian bie jie", but the original 終守 doesn't mean death.

所有跟帖： 

• 傾心一夕逢不錯，一字在中間，跟後一句的“一”對應。 -小唐- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/06/2009 postreply 19:15:37

• 哈哈..同意..一野情總有其美好的角度. -流羽飛雲- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/07/2009 postreply 00:57:00