我以為,第五季的關鍵字就是 -- partnership。壞人會湊到一起犯罪,dexter 會認為他找到了一個真正懂他的人,警察和他頂頭女上司從工作戀情到婚姻,都是劇中的合作樣本。一個合作關係的開始,合作的每一方都有各自的原因和期待從合作中得到的利益。合作關係的繼續需要合作的每一方的共識:we are in this together. 合作關係的結束,是其中任一方期待的利益得到滿足或者看不到預期的結果,對此合作關係不再有所需要。
說到這裏就聊兩句電影《非誠勿擾2》。這個電影我是在youtube上看的,youtube上分了好幾段,我一邊看(其實是聽聲兒的時間比較多)一邊在手機上打 "angry birds". (這個遊戲我玩瘋了,過了關都不算,一定要得三顆星兒,好得到遊戲中獎勵的金蛋蛋和大禮包。) 電影裏的男女主人公,戀愛談到這個份兒上 -- “婚姻怎麽選都是錯,長久的婚姻就是將錯就錯”,也真是提不起精神。透著些許“英雄末路,美人遲暮“的無奈 -- 搭夥兒過日子吧,啥也別想了。
愛情它來無影去無蹤,不說也罷。據說,荷爾蒙的興奮期平均是6個月,具體長短可能要根據不同人的身體狀況和不同年齡階段而定。此後還能繼續的,應該是認為自己在生活中的某些需求在對方身上還可以得到滿足。心理學家,精神分析專家Carl Jung對人在青年和中年時期的愛情觀有個從本能到精神的“進化”理論,並提出的男人的 anima 和女人的 animus很有意思的說法, 感興趣的可以google 一下,我就不東一腳西一腳的囉嗦了哈。
走進婚姻這個由兩方參加的合作關係,每一方也都有各自原因和期待,取決於當事人那一個時刻所處的狀態和對生活的認知。《非誠勿擾》裏,男的是挑累了的一個狀態,再加上朋友的去世,本來男的就比女的害怕寂寞,所以他比較上趕著。女的呢,之前是”為愛癡狂“的小三兒狀態,比較糾結。能這麽糾結著過的人,多半自戀,有戲劇化人格。指望她能踏實的守在一個沒有戲劇般跌宕起伏的婚姻裏,難度係數比較高。
一個合作關係的開始都是有原因的,它的維係是需要上麵提到的口號一樣的共識,背後還是互惠的利益。當合作關係逐漸深入,加上情感投入與依賴,複雜呀複雜。如果一方認為合作關係沒有繼續的必要想抽身,結束?談何容易,就算合作關係終止,之前的利益與情感牽扯也不是說結束就可以立馬結束的。
Don't Dream It's Over
There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're traveling with me
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win
Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof
In the paper today, tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the TV page
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win
Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only shadows ahead, barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and release
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win
Well, don't let them win
Hey now, hey now
Don't let them win
Don't let them win, yeah