Similar thing happened to me 4 years ago. My hu*****and acted exactly like yours. Since I chosen to keep the family for the kids and willing to do all compromises, he eventually promised to come back to us. I do not have time to heal my broken heart, I must pretend loving him very much in order to keep the marriage. He demanded more obedience from me after he “come back home”, I have to agree with every single opinion/decision of his, no matter how big or how small that was, otherwise, there will be fight following. I felt very tired. To avoid too much conflicts, I found a job in another state and moved with my kids. I know that he still, at least, kept in touch with that woman. I do not know, though, how close they are, and I do not want to know either. Although, I made up my mind not to expect his love for me, but, it still hurts when I see her phone number on my phone bills. Worst of all, I am now regretting that I did not choose divorce four years ago and I am thinking of the possibility…
I guess, what I wanted to say to you is that, if you do not mind that he does not love you any more and you have no plan to find someone else to love you, you can keep the marriage. Otherwise, you’d better get a divorce and trying to find someone else when you are still young (I am in my forties, by the way).
