一般情況下,burden of proof is on their side, they have to show at least some evidence that you WILL give the money to your hu*****and. I don't think they have any proof of that. merely because you two are married does not mean you will give the money to him, you need the money as well.
if however, the burden of proof is on you to show that you will NOT give the money to your hu*****and, then you are being asked to prove a negative, which will be difficult. it's like they presume you are guilty, and then you have to prove your innocence, which is unfair. but this sort of thing sometimes happen.
tell your lawyer about the statement the Custom official made. I think it amount to 'abuse of discretion'.