"use it or lose it" means "use and claim it, or lose it".
by IRS regulation on FSA the claim deadlines must be clearly stated on the documents when you signed up for the plan. you must did not read when you sign the dotted line. the plan administrator or your employer has not legal obligation to send you additional deadlines notice or reminder.
the bottom line: you have no case.
you might be able to get up to 20% of what you actually expensed back by filing 1040X as child care credit if you AGI is below certain level, but this has nothing to do with your FSA claim or refund.
by IRS regulation on FSA the claim deadlines must be clearly stated on the documents when you signed up for the plan. you must did not read when you sign the dotted line. the plan administrator or your employer has not legal obligation to send you additional deadlines notice or reminder.
the bottom line: you have no case.
you might be able to get up to 20% of what you actually expensed back by filing 1040X as child care credit if you AGI is below certain level, but this has nothing to do with your FSA claim or refund.