糾正：國內跟風當街叫賣“肉靈芝”。

作者: 首發BM 發布於: 子陵 ziling.com 下載 (15.27 KB) 昨天 17:08 新聞正文： The ** media has been utterly humiliated after reporting the discovery of a mysterious mushroom, only have it pointed out to them that it was actually a discarded artificial vagina. 中國的媒體由於對一個神秘靈芝的報道而受到了狠狠地嘲笑，因為這個靈芝實際上是一個被丟棄的男性自慰器。 According to the reports, the “mysterious mushroom” was found down a village well and soon became the subject of wonderment in the local media, where it was shown floating in a bucket and being measured and handled with much reverance: 根據報道，這個“神秘靈芝”是在一個村莊的井中發現的，並很快被當地的報紙當做奇聞異事報道。報道的照片中“靈芝”漂浮在水桶中，並被人帶著尊敬測量和觸摸。 Unfortunately, it appears none of the reporters or villagers were familiar with (or would own up to knowing about) the technology of artificial vaginas, and so their theories that it might be a legendary mushroom said to grant immortality were shattered humiliatingly once the video was exposed to the wider world . 不幸的是，似乎沒有記者和村民知道（或者坦白自己知道）男性自慰器這種工藝。因此當他們認為它是傳說中可以帶來長生的靈芝這個想法被更多的人得知時，自然就受到了嚴重的嘲笑。 Needless to say, online they have been reduced to a laughing stock. 不用說，在網上他們已經成為了一個笑柄 評論按時間順序，橫線內為一組評論： Comment by Anonymous 05:29 20/06/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0) ROFL Best laugh in the month so far 笑得滿地打滾了，目前是本月最好笑的 Comment by Anonymous 09:36 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) If you think you're laughing hard, imagine that guy that saw his used onahole on the news. 如果你覺得你快要笑死了，想象一下那家夥看見自個用過的性玩具出現在新聞裏。 ------------------------------------------------- Comment by Anonymous 03:32 20/06/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0) Mario hits "?" block Out pops this "mushroom" <__> "Here we go!" "Yahoo!" "Yipee!" "Whaha!" "Ima tired!" 馬裏奧頂了一下帶有“？”的方塊（注：經典遊戲《超級瑪麗》） 然後蹦出來這個“蘑菇” <__> “我們開始吧！”“雅虎！”“耶！”“哈哈！”“我累了！” Comment by Anonymous 04:33 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4) this made my day, rofl... x3 這弄得我今天笑得滿地打滾……x3 ------------------------------------------------- Comment by kazaza2 03:53 20/06/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0) A "Shroom" that makes your ** larger! I'm in! 一個能讓你“弟弟”變大的肉靈芝！我感受到了！ Comment by Anonymous 05:44 20/06/2012 # ! Good (+0.6) What if the shroom explodes? 如果肉靈芝爆炸了咋辦捏？（注：暗諷中華煙爆炸） Comment by Anonymous 06:56 20/06/2012 # ! Good (+0.6) Then the term "**less" will apply to you. 那麽“沒有JB”適合形容你。 Comment by Anonymous 03:58 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4) You mean I can finally grow my ** big enough to enjoy **ing a needle hole? SWEET!! 你的意思是我的"弟弟"最後能變得足夠大到OOXX針孔？酷斃了！！ -------------譯者：笑開懷------------- Comment by Anonymous 04:12 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4) Those things are supposed to be very elastic and usually only the entrance is that small (so you can break it the first time you use like a virgin plastic vagina) But one of the ones I got was really all the way tight and it was impossible to use that. 那些玩意該是有彈性的和通常入口是那麽的小（所以第一次你會弄破它用起來感覺像一個塑料的處女**） 但我得到的其中一個真得一直就那麽緊，根本就沒法用。 Comment by Anonymous 07:56 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) Lube is your friend. 潤滑油是你的好夥伴。 Comment by Anonymous 09:02 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) Was there live sperm still inside it? 那裏麵還有活的精子嗎？ Comment by Anonymous 07:10 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) Don't forget the pussy in other side XD Old_Nash 別忘記另一頭的** XD 老納什 ------------------------------------------------- Comment by Neat Hedgehog 02:56 20/06/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0) I just hope nobody tried to cook it and eat it before they found out. ...or... after they found out, depending on how disturbing they are. 我隻是希望在他們發現它之前沒有人會試著去煮它來吃。 ……還是……在他們發現之後（拿去煮了），這得看他們有多麽的不安。 Comment by Benoist 03:47 20/06/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8) for people used to sewer sauce, soup from the drains, and the like... this must be a gourmet snack 適合人們就著下水道醬汁和排水溝湯一塊吃，會像……這肯定是一款美味小吃。 Comment by Anonymous 06:05 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2) Plenty of protein. 大量蛋白質 ------------------------------------------------- -------------譯者：我愛詹一美------------- Comment by Bigall 02:59 20/06/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8) Since it didn't explode, they should have guessed that there was something funny with the "mushroom". 既然它不會泡水膨脹，那些人就應該猜到這個“靈芝”的神奇妙用了。 ------------------------------------------------- Comment by Anonymous 03:01 20/06/2012 # ! Good (+0.8) Wait they couldn't tell it was plastic? 等等，他們不能分辨出它是塑料做的嗎？ Comment by Your Name 03:57 20/06/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0) They blamed the reporter by saying she was too young and did not know what it was. (She probably didn't know though lol) 他們責怪那個記者，說她太年輕了，所以不知道這東西是什麽。（也許她真的什麽都不知道喔lol） Comment by Godot 08:43 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2) They shouldn't blame the reporter alone. Thats not how tv reports work. Cameraman Producer Editor And also the studio that OK'd it for broadcast Any one of them could have said something but didn't. They are all as gullible as the rest of that ** village. 他們不能僅僅責備記者，這不是記者的責任。 攝像師 總監 編輯 還有整個工作室。隻有在這些人的允許下這條新聞才能被播出。 他們中的每個人都得站出來說幾句，但是他們沒有。他們和那些中國鄉村的人們一樣容易受騙。 Comment by Anonymous 05:19 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) She's a female. She's less likely to know but the top is so obvious 她是個女生，可能這方麵知識會缺乏點，但那個東西的頭部是多麽滴明顯呀。------------------------------------------------- Comment by Anonymous 05:02 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2) UHUhuaa as they do not know what it is? It is precisely manufactured there and shipped to Japan .. It is possible that the village is so remote that does not have internet or porn magazines.?! I think they call the reporter for fun and the donkey fell over, like the appariti** of ovinis or supernatural in the end 95% is pure scamming. I want to see how they will find the former owner :P 哈哈哈哈哈，他們真的不知道它是什麽嗎？ 它就是在那裏加工生產出來，然後要運去日本的。 可能是因為這個村子太過偏遠了，所有人們沒有經曆網絡或者**雜誌的洗禮？！ 我覺得他們叫記者來隻是為了耍耍他們，誰知露馬腳了，就像95%不明飛行物的魅影或者超自然現象到最後都是單純的人為鬧劇。 我很想知道他們會怎麽找到這“靈芝”的前任主人的:P Comment by Anonymous 05:16 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2) That's a great idea! Get a weird dildo and call some of those supernatural gulible guys claiming that you have some alien/mutant plant/fungus. Bonus points if he have a site/work on some supernatural magazine! 好主意！拿出一個奇形怪狀的假陽具，然後叫喚那些迷信超自然現象的人，跟他們說你拿到了一些外星/基因突變的植物或真菌。如果他們在某些研究超自然現象的雜誌上有專欄或者工作什麽的話，這肯定是大大的報道亮點呀！ -------------譯者：笑開懷------------- Comment by Anonymous 07:02 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) its china.... every thing is plastic and explode. 這是中國……每一樣東西都是塑料做的以及會爆炸的。 Comment by Anonymous 09:38 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) Even the women? 甚至女人也不例外？ ------------------------------------------------- Comment by Lonesnipa 05:03 20/06/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8) You'd think just the fact that the thing has two heads would tip them off that this isn't a mushroom. 你會認為事實就是那玩意有兩頭，這是暗示他們這不是肉靈芝。 Comment by Kiljoy616 06:10 20/06/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0) Maybe they thought all that dumping had created a new mushroom creature. I can't type this with a strait face. 可能他們以為所有的廢棄物都會創造出一種新的蘑菇生物。我做不到板著臉寫下這段話。 ------------------------------------------------- Comment by Evilwind 02:56 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2) I'm not sure which makes them look dumber... not being able to identify the onahole or believing in a mushroom that grants immortality... 我不肯定是什麽使得他們看起來那麽笨……不能辨認出性玩具還是相信那靈芝是長生不老藥…… Comment by Anonymous 03:16 20/06/2012 # ! Good (+0.8) Maybe they believed it grants immorality, and Sankaku made a typo. 也許他們相信那是長生不老藥， Sankaku犯了個錯誤。 （注:Sankakuc完達山lex.com，含不適宜未成年人的內容，有大量歧視華人的文章） Comment by Aneko 03:23 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) I apologize, I accidentally voted you down. Nice one. 我道歉，我不小心扔了你一雞蛋。真不錯。 ------------------------------------------------- Comment by Shizu's Waki Obsessor: MaidNiac 07:00 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2) Oh wow, looks like a ** remake of The Gods Must Be Crazy 哦哇，看上去像中國山寨版的《上帝也瘋狂》 （注：喜劇電影）。 -------------譯者：xuhr------------- ------------------------------------------------- Comment by Demi-Rebel 72 05:27 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2) Wow, they couldn't tell the difference between something that was grown from the ground & something made out of plastic and used for someone's "pleasuring fantasies". Man their dumb. Plus how the hell can a mushroom grant immortality!? Can someone explain that to me!? They need to stop mixing fantasy with reality, seriously. Wow，他們不能區別一個地上長出來的東西和一個由塑料做成用於一些人的“愉快幻想”的東西之間的區別。蠢透了。另外一個蘑菇怎麽能帶來長生！？有人能向我解釋嗎？認真地說，他們需要停止將幻想和現實混淆。 Comment by Anonymous 09:36 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) Oops, I meant to write 'they're' not 'their'. One's a contraction of 'they' and 'are'. The other is a possessive, like 'their onaholes'. Oops，我是想寫 'their'而非'they're'。一個是 'they' 和 'are'的縮寫。另一個是所有格，像“their 性用品”。 Comment by Demi-Rebel 72 11:18 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) Don't make fun of my error! 別嘲笑我的失誤！ ------------------------------------------------- Comment by Kiljoy616 06:13 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) All the same in remote China. Not like this is the strangest thing to come out there. So was she holding it, can we get the reporter to hold it maybe play with it a bit ROFL. Whats with the announcer she seem to be pissed off. Maybe she was thinking that dam thing looks better than mine. 所有同樣的事情都發生在遙遠的中國。這不是那裏發生的最奇怪的事情。那麽她有沒有隱瞞這件事，我們可以讓記者隱瞞或者曲解這件事嗎？笑的打滾了...主持人似乎有點生氣。或許它在想那個東西比她自己的更好。 ------------------------------------------------- Comment by Anonymous 07:12 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) now see, the japanese would probably know what that was straight off the bat 現在看來，日本人很可能馬上知道那是什麽東西。 Comment by Anonymous 09:16 20/06/2012 # ! Neutral (0) Is that a good thing? 這是一個好東西嗎？