英文原創爆笑貼:Xi is the new leader of China

來源: jiyimobuqu 2012-01-06 04:11:31 [] [博客] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 本文已被閱讀: 次 (22612 bytes)

10 years have passed since Mr. Hu Jingtao became president of China. In 2012, Mr. Xi Jinping will become China’s new president. White House is once again having a discussion of the new leader in China.


Characters: Barak is the President; Hillary is the secretary of the States; Bill No. 1 is the former President; Bill No. 2 is the President’s Chief of Staff.


(In the Rose Garden of the White House)


Hillary: Mr. President. China will have a new president this year.


Barak: Who is the new leader of China?


Hillary: No, Hu will be retiring. Xi (she) is the new leader of China.


Barak:  Who is she?


Hillary: No, Hu is Hu, Xi is Xi.


Barak:  I know Hu is a guy. Now will they have a female leader in China?


Hillary: No, Xi is a guy too.  


Barak:  She is a guy? Who is he?


Hillary: Yes. Hu is a he.


Barak:  I know Hu is he. Then who is She?


Hillary: No, Hu is Hu, Xi is Xi.


Barak:  You just said She is a guy?


Hillary: Yes. 


Barak:  How dare you say she is a guy! If she is a guy, then I will be a lady.


Hillary: No, I am a lady, you are a guy.


Barak:  Then why you call she is a guy?


Hillary: Because Xi is a guy!


Barak:  How do you know she is a guy?


Hillary: Because Xi was married, Xi has a wife.


Barak:  Does China also approve same sex marriage?


Hillary: No.


Barak:  Then why she can marry to a woman?


Hillary: Because Xi is a man.


Barak:  You mean she is a man?


Hillary: Yes sir.


Barak:  I know Yasser  is a man, but he is a dead man.  Hu picked she?


Hillary: Yes sir.


Barak:  Let’s forget Yasser, he is dead already. Ok?


Hillary: Ok. In order to know Xi better, I have sent someone to meet him.


Barak:  Mind your grammar, Ms. Secretary of the States! The object pronoun of she is her, not him, Ok? No wonder why I insist education all the time. So, who did you send to meet She?


Hillary: Locke.


Barak:  Lock? You send a lock? What the hell a lock will do? Too naïve, too simple! We have the most advanced technology in the world, you should send her an iPhone 6.  I am tired of this nonsense. Bill? (He called out.)


Hillary: Sir, we are in the Rose Garden now, not in a restaurant.


Barak:  I am not going to pay anything.


Hillary: Yes, I know the taxpayer will pay for us.


Barak:  No, no. Stop talking about tax, it makes me feel sick.  I just want Bill. Do you know where is my Bill?


Hillary: No. I did not bring cash with me.  If you need money, I can give you my credit card.


Barak:  No, I do not want money. I want the guy, Bill.


Hillary: Oh, I did not bring Bill with me either. He is now being interviewed by my daughter.


Barak:  Bill is looking for a new job? I thought he is happy with me.


Hillary: No, Bill is happy with me! He is loyal to me, while, most of the time. Most importantly, he is not a gay.  He will not be happy with you.


Barak:  Ok, that Bill! Then why is he interviewed by his own daughter? Is he gonna work for her?


Hillary: No, my daughter is now a correspondent for a media. She is responsible for "Making a Difference".  


Barak: No need of her, I can make the difference here: Your Bill is not my Bill. Here comes my Bill.


Bill: Yes, sir?


Barak: No more Yasser, Please! He is history.Now tell me who won the Iowa caucus?


Bill: Mitt.


Barak: Meat? I thought Iowa is famous for its beef.


Bill: Yes.


Barak: Then who won?


Bill: Mitt.


Barak: I hate meat.  Beef is juicier and more delicious. So tell me who won the Iowa caucus?


Bill: Mitt.


Barak: Ok, meat! But I prefer meatloaf. Oh, probably also a bowl of Rice, and a cup of Kofi. And when you pay the Bill, do not forget to get a receipt! We need reimbursement from the taxpayers.


 


(Author declaration: this is created for pure fun only, no disrespectfulness exists for anyone).


也許是畫蛇添足,不過為幫助不熟悉政治的朋友更好理解這些笑話,做一點注釋:


Locke:Gary Locke,美國駐華大使


Mitt: Mitt Romney, 美國共和黨總統候選人之一


Yasser: Yasser arafat,巴勒斯坦前領導人


Rice: Condoleezza Rice, 美國前國務卿


Kofi: Kofi Annan, 前聯合國秘書長


(歡迎轉載,請注明出處)

所有跟帖: 

好,比舊滴有進步 -朱哥靚- 給 朱哥靚 發送悄悄話 朱哥靚 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 01/06/2012 postreply 04:33:13

Mitt應該不發meat 的音。 In order to know Xi better,也應該是語法錯誤,her better -xinliji- 給 xinliji 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 01/06/2012 postreply 13:21:53

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