老公打呼嚕是有好處滴。這不,李娜聽了老公一夜的呼嚕聲,結果越戰越勇,打敗#1,進入了決賽。
老師:“大雄,老師給你90元,你再去跟胖虎借10元,這樣你總共有多少錢?”大雄:“0元。”老師:“你根本不懂數學!”大雄:“你根本不懂胖虎!”
“五星級公廁我也去過,換拖鞋才能進廁所還是首次遇到。” ——成渝高速公路一公廁要求如廁者換拖鞋才能進,過路車主稱換鞋差點憋得流尿。
中國足球兵敗多哈,球員們卻很高興。為什麽?漲工資了。其中高洪波年入30萬。
小學考試卷後對家長老師判錯的很多題表示強烈不解,並且一怒之下上網發帖質問:為什麽小學語文會有那麽的“標準”,就連題目要求“寫你最喜歡的一句話”都是固定答案!
題:某人第一個月拿1000元工資,第二月拿800,第三月拿600,請問他的工資是降低了還是增長了?
答:降低了。
錯,是負增長。
題:你隻有10平米的房屋,鄰居從0平米換到100平米,你的居住麵積有沒有增加?
答:沒有。
錯,你在平均住房麵積裏被增加了50平米。
題:明明你口袋裏隻有50元,卻搞一大堆數據證明你實際有100元的是什麽人?
答:騙子。
錯,是統計局。
題:剛被人打了一棒,馬上潛入水中,過一會在不遠處穿著馬甲又探出頭來的是什麽?
答:烏龜。
錯!是免職官員。
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. " The hu*****and said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee. "Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Hu*****and replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .........."HEBREWS"
跟著一起樂:
上一篇:周末一笑 答網友問女如何變男問題
請閱讀更多我的博客文章>>>