隔壁搬過來: 母親節的晚餐 （笑臉笑話集之８，Rated R :)

母親節的晚餐 （笑臉笑話集之８，Rated R :)

來源: 笑_臉 於 09-05-12 07:34:39

母親節晚上，一家４口來到預定的餐館，人不多。我們桌的服務員是一位個子高高，藍眼金發的白gg(不４一般滴帥！）。他殷勤地接過俺滴外套，穩油地為俺拉開椅子，又推回來放回俺PG下麵，俺聞到帥哥熏死蚊子的古龍水味。

然後帥哥又把桌上的擦嘴布折好，溫油地蓋在俺滴大腿上，耳邊響起溫情的話"Everything I do, I do it for you!" 一掐大腿，４幻覺(4圍觀gg說的），藍眼帥鍋actually是說：My name is......

先點了drink, LG要了紅酒，倆兒子要了亂７８糟的東西。

好戲開始，先倆小子說surprise!, 把給俺做的禮物拿出來，那個感動啊，全手工的。然後，老兒子把禮物拿出，兒子也喊surprise!（俺心裏想: 撒普賴嘶個P! 信用卡帳單到鳥，俺是家裏的出納，誰買了啥東西俺還能不知道？精確到分呢。）

表麵還是假裝驚訝：wow! 謝謝啦！blahblah, 省略１０００字。老兒子說：本來想給你撒普賴嘶，不想用信用卡，結果發現身上現金木有那麽多，隻好這樣了。這就是老夫老妻的壞處，太了解，誰都知道對方的譜。

俺趕快說：是撒普賴嘶啊，俺木有仔細看bill就付了（嘿嘿，恐怕俺LG不會信）。

藍眼帥鍋又來了，人很少，所以他跟俺們聊天。先誇兩個兒子禮物好棒。

LG插嘴：我們家３個兒子，她常常說是每天照顧我們３個，所以是３個兒子的媽！

帥鍋藍藍的迷死人的眼睛轉向俺，說：那怎麽可能？She is not even 18 yet. She looks like a teenager! （圍觀gg趕快記下，白gg就是這末寵女銀滴）。

偶LG不樂意了，說：你恭維女銀可以。可你知道the law of state XX, 你這句話不是要送俺進監獄嗎？

大兒子開口了：Actually my mom is 38 and my dad is 39. They are quite old.(暈!）But they are working on getting us a baby sister!

小兒子搶著說：Yep, my mom told my dad if he did not work harder on it, my mom would be too old to have a baby .(昏倒，一點背景：我們本來是計劃３個孩子，尤其有了兩個臭小子，就希望能再有個baby girl. 所以我有時跟LG說起這事，但也不是非要不可，沒想到倆臭小子都聽到了）。

LG臉皮薄，又喝了點酒，就紅著臉對老二說：Dan, I think you misunderstood your mom. She actually wanted YOU to work harder on your science project.

老二不示弱：You were right. But she also wants YOU to work harder on getting a baby girl! She said you went to Mumbai too much and missed a lot of days!（偶想鑽桌底下了...)

藍眼哥哥說： Then how is he supposed to do to get a baby girl?

聽到這問題，偶嚇暈了，大兒子說：He should set up a baby crib, paint one of our rooms pink, and get baby swing and toys. He is not doing any of these things. I think that is why my mommy was complaining that he is not working hard！

老二說：Mommy is not working hard either. She should eat a lot of junk food, like Nancy's mommy.(nancy's mommy懷孕時有food crave, 整天想吃chips) Then she would have a big fat tummy, like nancy's mommy. Then we will have a baby sister！：）

老二說：my mom hates her tummy! The other day, she was putting on a dress. You know， that purple ugly dress, very tight! And she asked me if that would show her belly. I said "a little bit". And she punched her tummy and said: DamX it! I will skip my lunch today!

偶徹底暈了，LG紅著臉，轉著手裏的酒杯玩兒。現在才理解高英姬高老師的"外嫁辛酸"一文說到，她離婚後見過一個國gg, 後來國gg跟介紹人說，都很好，就是看到她那半大小子，旗杆豎不起來。蘆葦mm還說看到外嫁白gg的妹妹曬幸福，心理特別高興。因為萬一那天被LG甩了，拖兒帶女的，嫁國gg是不成了（那是自然，國gg標準是年輕漂亮的處長），還可以嫁白gg幸福，也還有退路:-)

不過看來俺是隻有死守LG, 沒有退路了，這倆半大小子，看來能讓全世界哥哥旗杆都豎不起來. 這不，俺還沒來得及跟藍眼哥哥拋個媚眼呢，他就忙不跌說：You guys really like to have a baby sister, don't you? I'd better shut up.....拔腿就跑。。。

不好意思，俺鑽桌底下跟大家招手了： Happy Mother's Day!

所有跟帖： 

• 哈哈哈哈，這倆兒子可真好玩兒 -500miles- ♂ (0 bytes) () 05/12/2009 postreply 09:20:36

• 吼吼吼吼～～～哈哈哈哈～～～我什麽也沒看到～～～∶））） -笑比哭好- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/12/2009 postreply 09:26:20

• 哈哈哈哈哈哈~~~笑翻~~~ -小分隊員- ♂ (0 bytes) () 05/12/2009 postreply 10:42:59

• 這個太好笑 -金盞菊- ♀ (62 bytes) () 05/12/2009 postreply 10:52:24

• ：))))) -概不回帖- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/12/2009 postreply 12:41:30

• Keep working hard ....... -半世- ♂ (0 bytes) () 05/12/2009 postreply 15:45:50

• 這裏再頂笑臉。 -高英姬- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/12/2009 postreply 17:34:47

• 哈哈哈哈哈哈~~年度最佳笑話！！！ -衝浪潛水員- ♂ (14 bytes) () 05/12/2009 postreply 23:36:01