我出席了一次在倫敦舉行的為當時最著名的英國軍人舉行的宴會。我不想告訴你他真實的名字和頭銜，我隻想叫他阿瑟.斯考茲比爵士。
當我見到這位偉大而著名的人物的時候，興奮之情無以言表。他獨自一人坐在那裏，渾身戴滿了勳章。我的注意力無法從他身上挪開，他好象就是真正偉大的標誌。他的名望對他根本沒什麽影響，成百上千雙敬佩的眼睛，那麽多人的崇敬似乎對他沒有一絲影響。
坐在我旁邊的是一位牧師，我的一位老朋友。他並不是一直是個牧師，他的前半生在吾爾維希的軍校當一名老師。當他向我斜著身子輕聲說話的時候，眼睛裏有一種奇怪的表情：別跟別人說，他是個十足的傻子。他，當然指的是宴會上的那位英雄。
他的話使我感到很震驚。這比他說拿破倫或者蘇格拉底或者所羅門王是傻子更令我吃驚。但是，對於這位牧師，我有兩點可以確信：他總是說實話和他對人的判斷總是對的。因此，我想盡快找出我們那位大英雄的更多的秘密。幾天以後，我找到了一個和這位牧師談話的機會。下麵就是他跟我說的，原文是：
大約四十年前，我在吾爾維希軍事學院任教的時候，年輕的斯考茲比參加了他的第一次考試。我感到他那麽可憐，每個人都出色機智地回答了問題，而他----我的天，不知道為什麽----也就是說，他什麽也不知道。他是個友善的、舉止文雅的年輕人。看著他象塊木頭一樣站在那兒，淨給出一些愚蠢的回答，真是一件痛苦的事。
我當然知道，如果再考一次他還失敗的話，他將會被開除了。於是，我對自己說，我盡自己最大所能去幫助他，將是一件簡單而無惡意的善事。
我把他帶到一邊，發現他知道有關凱撒的一點曆史。由於其它的東西他都不知道，我就開始逼著他象做苦工一樣學習和檢測。我反複地讓他學習一些我知道會用上的關於凱撒的問題。
請相信我，考試那天他出色地通過了，也得到了很高的讚賞。那些知道的比他多一千倍的人也通過了考試。出於奇妙而幸運的巧合，除了我教他的那些問題以外，別的什麽都沒有問道。象這樣的巧合，一百年也不會發生一次。
不過，雖然他學習的時候，我就象一位照顧有殘疾的孩子的母親一樣待在他身邊，他還是通過一些奇跡救了自己。
當我見到這位偉大而著名的人物的時候，興奮之情無以言表。他獨自一人坐在那裏，渾身戴滿了勳章。我的注意力無法從他身上挪開，他好象就是真正偉大的標誌。他的名望對他根本沒什麽影響，成百上千雙敬佩的眼睛，那麽多人的崇敬似乎對他沒有一絲影響。
坐在我旁邊的是一位牧師，我的一位老朋友。他並不是一直是個牧師，他的前半生在吾爾維希的軍校當一名老師。當他向我斜著身子輕聲說話的時候，眼睛裏有一種奇怪的表情：別跟別人說，他是個十足的傻子。他，當然指的是宴會上的那位英雄。
他的話使我感到很震驚。這比他說拿破倫或者蘇格拉底或者所羅門王是傻子更令我吃驚。但是，對於這位牧師，我有兩點可以確信：他總是說實話和他對人的判斷總是對的。因此，我想盡快找出我們那位大英雄的更多的秘密。幾天以後，我找到了一個和這位牧師談話的機會。下麵就是他跟我說的，原文是：
大約四十年前，我在吾爾維希軍事學院任教的時候，年輕的斯考茲比參加了他的第一次考試。我感到他那麽可憐，每個人都出色機智地回答了問題，而他----我的天，不知道為什麽----也就是說，他什麽也不知道。他是個友善的、舉止文雅的年輕人。看著他象塊木頭一樣站在那兒，淨給出一些愚蠢的回答，真是一件痛苦的事。
我當然知道，如果再考一次他還失敗的話，他將會被開除了。於是，我對自己說，我盡自己最大所能去幫助他，將是一件簡單而無惡意的善事。
我把他帶到一邊，發現他知道有關凱撒的一點曆史。由於其它的東西他都不知道，我就開始逼著他象做苦工一樣學習和檢測。我反複地讓他學習一些我知道會用上的關於凱撒的問題。
請相信我，考試那天他出色地通過了，也得到了很高的讚賞。那些知道的比他多一千倍的人也通過了考試。出於奇妙而幸運的巧合，除了我教他的那些問題以外，別的什麽都沒有問道。象這樣的巧合，一百年也不會發生一次。
不過，雖然他學習的時候，我就象一位照顧有殘疾的孩子的母親一樣待在他身邊，他還是通過一些奇跡救了自己。
我想最終會毀掉他的可能是數學。我決定盡可能使他的結局沒有痛苦。我長時間地訓練他，把知識硬塞進他那遲鈍的腦殼。我隻在那些考官們最有可能提出的問題上訓練和灌輸他。最後，我又讓他吃了一些補腦藥。嗬。先生，你就盡力想象一下吧，我都被自己的智慧給震驚了，他得了一等獎！並且得到了最高獎勵。
我日夜承受著良心的譴責----我所做的一切都是錯誤的，但是起初我隻是想使他被開除的時候沒那麽痛苦。這純粹是處於善意，我做夢也沒想到會產生這樣奇異的令人發笑的結果。我想一件事遲早肯定會發生：第一次真正的考試會毀了他。
後來，克裏米亞戰爭爆發了，我覺得對他來講，戰爭是一件悲哀的事。和平的時候，可以給這頭蠢驢一次機會，免得他被別人發現是個白癡。我神經緊張地等著最糟糕的事情發生。它的確發生了，它發生的時候，恐懼在我的大腦裏縈繞不停。他被任命成了隊長，負責全部事物的隊長！誰能想到他們會把如此重任放在象他那樣柔弱的肩膀上呢！隊長！我覺得我的頭發會愁白的。
你想想我做了些什麽？我跟自己所，我要為此事對國家負責：我必須和他一塊去盡力保衛這個國家。於是我和他一塊加入了部隊，我們開到了戰場。
在那----哦，老天，太可怕了。愚蠢的錯誤，可怕的錯誤----為什麽，他從來沒做過對的事情----除了愚蠢的錯誤。但是，你知道，沒人知道他有多麽愚蠢這個秘密。大家都在執行他的錯誤指示，當然都誤解了他的戰鬥部署。他們把他白癡式的錯誤看成了天才的指揮，並且，一絲不扣地執行了。他犯的一個最小的錯誤使一個想法正確的人痛苦了起來，怒氣衝衝地朝著他大嚷大叫，而且使我一直害怕的是，他犯的每一個錯誤都為他的愚蠢贏得了更多的榮譽和更高的名聲。
我一直在對自己說，當他們最終看清了他時，那就會象太陽從天空墜落一樣。
他踩著上級的屍體不斷地往上爬。後來，在戰鬥最激烈的時候，我們的上校陣亡了。我的心一下子跳到了嗓子眼，對於斯考茲比，下一個要取代的就是他的位置。現在，我們要吃苦頭了，我想。
戰鬥越來越激烈，英國人和他們的盟友持續地全線潰退。我們團占領了一處極其重要的位置。現在一個愚蠢的錯誤就會帶來致命的災難。這次斯考茲比會做什麽呢？----他能做的，隻會把左右手給搞錯。上級下達了命令，讓他後退來支持其他部隊的右翼，可是，他卻往前進發，爬上了左麵的山頭。這次瘋狂的行動還沒來得及發覺和阻止，我們已經爬上了左麵的山頭。我們發現了什麽呢？一整支毫無戒備的俄過部隊正在那裏待命。接下來發生什麽了，我們被吃掉了嗎？----但是並沒有發生----那些被嚇壞了的俄國兵爭吵了起來，他們認為，在那樣緊張的時刻，不可能隻有一個團在那裏遊蕩。他們認為那肯定是整個英國軍隊。他們掉轉方向倉促地跑到了另一座山上，又下了山，陷入了血腥混亂的戰場。我們就跟在他們後麵，接著他們就開始了從未見過的大潰敗。盟軍們轉敗為勝，取得了輝煌的勝利。
我日夜承受著良心的譴責----我所做的一切都是錯誤的，但是起初我隻是想使他被開除的時候沒那麽痛苦。這純粹是處於善意，我做夢也沒想到會產生這樣奇異的令人發笑的結果。我想一件事遲早肯定會發生：第一次真正的考試會毀了他。
後來，克裏米亞戰爭爆發了，我覺得對他來講，戰爭是一件悲哀的事。和平的時候，可以給這頭蠢驢一次機會，免得他被別人發現是個白癡。我神經緊張地等著最糟糕的事情發生。它的確發生了，它發生的時候，恐懼在我的大腦裏縈繞不停。他被任命成了隊長，負責全部事物的隊長！誰能想到他們會把如此重任放在象他那樣柔弱的肩膀上呢！隊長！我覺得我的頭發會愁白的。
你想想我做了些什麽？我跟自己所，我要為此事對國家負責：我必須和他一塊去盡力保衛這個國家。於是我和他一塊加入了部隊，我們開到了戰場。
在那----哦，老天，太可怕了。愚蠢的錯誤，可怕的錯誤----為什麽，他從來沒做過對的事情----除了愚蠢的錯誤。但是，你知道，沒人知道他有多麽愚蠢這個秘密。大家都在執行他的錯誤指示，當然都誤解了他的戰鬥部署。他們把他白癡式的錯誤看成了天才的指揮，並且，一絲不扣地執行了。他犯的一個最小的錯誤使一個想法正確的人痛苦了起來，怒氣衝衝地朝著他大嚷大叫，而且使我一直害怕的是，他犯的每一個錯誤都為他的愚蠢贏得了更多的榮譽和更高的名聲。
我一直在對自己說，當他們最終看清了他時，那就會象太陽從天空墜落一樣。
他踩著上級的屍體不斷地往上爬。後來，在戰鬥最激烈的時候，我們的上校陣亡了。我的心一下子跳到了嗓子眼，對於斯考茲比，下一個要取代的就是他的位置。現在，我們要吃苦頭了，我想。
戰鬥越來越激烈，英國人和他們的盟友持續地全線潰退。我們團占領了一處極其重要的位置。現在一個愚蠢的錯誤就會帶來致命的災難。這次斯考茲比會做什麽呢？----他能做的，隻會把左右手給搞錯。上級下達了命令，讓他後退來支持其他部隊的右翼，可是，他卻往前進發，爬上了左麵的山頭。這次瘋狂的行動還沒來得及發覺和阻止，我們已經爬上了左麵的山頭。我們發現了什麽呢？一整支毫無戒備的俄過部隊正在那裏待命。接下來發生什麽了，我們被吃掉了嗎？----但是並沒有發生----那些被嚇壞了的俄國兵爭吵了起來，他們認為，在那樣緊張的時刻，不可能隻有一個團在那裏遊蕩。他們認為那肯定是整個英國軍隊。他們掉轉方向倉促地跑到了另一座山上，又下了山，陷入了血腥混亂的戰場。我們就跟在他們後麵，接著他們就開始了從未見過的大潰敗。盟軍們轉敗為勝，取得了輝煌的勝利。
堪勞波特元帥在旁觀戰，驚奇而高興地左右看著。他把右線讓出來給斯考茲比，讓自己的軍隊配合他，把他放在了所有軍隊的最前沿。
那天斯考茲比贏得的軍事天才的美譽傳遍了世界，這種榮譽將永載史冊。
他還是象以前那樣友善和舉止文雅，他仍然不很清楚在雨天是呆在屋裏還是出去。他還是天下那個最笨的傻瓜。
直到現在，除了斯考茲比和我自己，沒人知道這件事。一天天，一年年，他總是伴隨著奇妙的好運。多少年來，他是我們所有的戰役中都耀眼的戰士。他的整個軍事生涯都在不斷地犯著愚蠢的錯誤，而每一次錯誤都使他成了爵士或者其它的爵位。看他前胸都戴滿了國內和國外的勳章。哎，先生，每一枚勳章都是某一個極其愚蠢行為的記錄。
好事總是發生在一個天生幸運的人身上，那些勳章就是證據。我再重複一次，正如我在宴會上說的，斯考茲比絕對是一個十足的笨蛋！
那天斯考茲比贏得的軍事天才的美譽傳遍了世界，這種榮譽將永載史冊。
他還是象以前那樣友善和舉止文雅，他仍然不很清楚在雨天是呆在屋裏還是出去。他還是天下那個最笨的傻瓜。
直到現在，除了斯考茲比和我自己，沒人知道這件事。一天天，一年年，他總是伴隨著奇妙的好運。多少年來，他是我們所有的戰役中都耀眼的戰士。他的整個軍事生涯都在不斷地犯著愚蠢的錯誤，而每一次錯誤都使他成了爵士或者其它的爵位。看他前胸都戴滿了國內和國外的勳章。哎，先生，每一枚勳章都是某一個極其愚蠢行為的記錄。
好事總是發生在一個天生幸運的人身上，那些勳章就是證據。我再重複一次，正如我在宴會上說的，斯考茲比絕對是一個十足的笨蛋！
附原文：”Luck” Written by Mark Twain
I was at a dinner in London given in honor
of one of the most celebrated English military men of his time. I do not want
to tell you his real name and titles. I will just call him Lieutenant General
Lord Arthur Scoresby.
of one of the most celebrated English military men of his time. I do not want
to tell you his real name and titles. I will just call him Lieutenant General
Lord Arthur Scoresby.
I cannot describe my excitement when I saw
this great and famous man. There he sat, the man himself, in person, all
covered with medals. I could not take my eyes off him. He seemed to show the
true mark of greatness. His fame had no effect on him. The hundreds of eyes
watching him, the worship of so many people, did not seem to make any
difference to him.
this great and famous man. There he sat, the man himself, in person, all
covered with medals. I could not take my eyes off him. He seemed to show the
true mark of greatness. His fame had no effect on him. The hundreds of eyes
watching him, the worship of so many people, did not seem to make any
difference to him.
Next to me sat a clergyman, who was an old
friend of mine. He was not always a clergyman. During the first half of his
life he was a teacher in the military school at Woolwich. There was a strange
look in his eye as he leaned toward me and whispered – “Privately – he is a
complete fool.” He meant, of course, the hero of our dinner.
friend of mine. He was not always a clergyman. During the first half of his
life he was a teacher in the military school at Woolwich. There was a strange
look in his eye as he leaned toward me and whispered – “Privately – he is a
complete fool.” He meant, of course, the hero of our dinner.
This came as a shock to me. I looked hard
at my friend. I could not have been more surprised if he had said the same
thing about Napoleon, or Socrates, or Solomon. But I was sure of two things
about the clergyman. He always spoke the truth. And, his judgment of men was
good. Therefore, I wanted to find out more about our hero as soon as I could.
at my friend. I could not have been more surprised if he had said the same
thing about Napoleon, or Socrates, or Solomon. But I was sure of two things
about the clergyman. He always spoke the truth. And, his judgment of men was
good. Therefore, I wanted to find out more about our hero as soon as I could.
Some days later I got a chance to talk with
the clergyman, and he told me more. These are his exact words:
the clergyman, and he told me more. These are his exact words:
About forty years ago, I was an instructor
in the military academy at Woolwich, when young Scoresby was given his first
examination. I felt extremely sorry for him. Everybody answered the questions
well, intelligently, while he – why, dear me – he did not know anything, so to
speak. He was a nice, pleasant young man. It was painful to see him stand there
and give answers that were miracles of stupidity.
in the military academy at Woolwich, when young Scoresby was given his first
examination. I felt extremely sorry for him. Everybody answered the questions
well, intelligently, while he – why, dear me – he did not know anything, so to
speak. He was a nice, pleasant young man. It was painful to see him stand there
and give answers that were miracles of stupidity.
I knew of course that when examined again
he would fail and be thrown out. So, I said to myself, it would be a simple,
harmless act to help him as much as I could.
he would fail and be thrown out. So, I said to myself, it would be a simple,
harmless act to help him as much as I could.
I took him aside and found he knew a little
about Julius Caesar’s history. But, he did not know anything else. So, I went
to work and tested him and worked him like a slave. I made him work, over and
over again, on a few questions about Caesar, which I knew he would be asked.
about Julius Caesar’s history. But, he did not know anything else. So, I went
to work and tested him and worked him like a slave. I made him work, over and
over again, on a few questions about Caesar, which I knew he would be asked.
If you will believe me, he came through
very well on the day of the examination. He got high praise too, while others
who knew a thousand times more than he were sharply criticized. By some
strange, lucky accident, he was asked no questions but those I made him study.
Such an accident does not happen more than once in a hundred years.
very well on the day of the examination. He got high praise too, while others
who knew a thousand times more than he were sharply criticized. By some
strange, lucky accident, he was asked no questions but those I made him study.
Such an accident does not happen more than once in a hundred years.
Well, all through his studies, I stood by
him, with the feeling a mother has for a disabled child. And he always
saved himself by some miracle.
him, with the feeling a mother has for a disabled child. And he always
saved himself by some miracle.
I thought that what in the end would
destroy him would be the mathematics examination. I decided to make his end as
painless as possible. So, I pushed facts into his stupid head for hours.
Finally, I let him go to the examination to experience what I was sure would be
his dismissal from school. Well, sir, try to imagine the result. I was
shocked out of my mind. He took first prize! And he got the highest praise.
destroy him would be the mathematics examination. I decided to make his end as
painless as possible. So, I pushed facts into his stupid head for hours.
Finally, I let him go to the examination to experience what I was sure would be
his dismissal from school. Well, sir, try to imagine the result. I was
shocked out of my mind. He took first prize! And he got the highest praise.
I felt guilty day and night – what I was
doing was not right. But I only wanted to make his dismissal a little less
painful for him. I never dreamed it would lead to such strange, laughable
results.
doing was not right. But I only wanted to make his dismissal a little less
painful for him. I never dreamed it would lead to such strange, laughable
results.
I thought that sooner or later one thing
was sure to happen: The first real test once he was through school would ruin
him.
was sure to happen: The first real test once he was through school would ruin
him.
Then, the Crimean War broke out. I felt
that sad for him that there had to be a war. Peace would have given this donkey
a chance to escape from ever being found out as being so stupid. Nervously, I
waited for the worst to happen. It did. He was appointed an officer. A captain,
of all things! Who could have dreamed that they would place such a
responsibility on such weak shoulders as his.
that sad for him that there had to be a war. Peace would have given this donkey
a chance to escape from ever being found out as being so stupid. Nervously, I
waited for the worst to happen. It did. He was appointed an officer. A captain,
of all things! Who could have dreamed that they would place such a
responsibility on such weak shoulders as his.
I said to myself that I was responsible to
the country for this. I must go with him and protect the nation against him as
far as I could. So, I joined up with him. And away we went to the field.
the country for this. I must go with him and protect the nation against him as
far as I could. So, I joined up with him. And away we went to the field.
And there – oh dear, it was terrible.
Mistakes, fearful mistakes – why, he never did anything that was right –
nothing but mistakes. But, you see, nobody knew the secret of how stupid he
really was. Everybody misunderstood his actions. They saw his stupid mistakes
as works of great intelligence. They did, honestly!
Mistakes, fearful mistakes – why, he never did anything that was right –
nothing but mistakes. But, you see, nobody knew the secret of how stupid he
really was. Everybody misunderstood his actions. They saw his stupid mistakes
as works of great intelligence. They did, honestly!
His smallest mistakes made a man in his
right mind cry, and shout and scream too – to himself, of course. And what kept
me in a continual fear was the fact that every mistake he made increased his
glory and fame. I kept saying to myself that when at last they find out about
him, it will be like the sun falling out of the sky.
right mind cry, and shout and scream too – to himself, of course. And what kept
me in a continual fear was the fact that every mistake he made increased his
glory and fame. I kept saying to myself that when at last they find out about
him, it will be like the sun falling out of the sky.
He continued to climb up, over the dead
bodies of his superiors. Then, in the hottest moment of one battle down
went our colonel. My heart jumped into my mouth, for Scoresby was the next in
line to take his place. Now, we are in for it, I said…
bodies of his superiors. Then, in the hottest moment of one battle down
went our colonel. My heart jumped into my mouth, for Scoresby was the next in
line to take his place. Now, we are in for it, I said…
The battle grew hotter. The English and
their allies were steadily retreating all over the field. Our regiment
occupied a position that was extremely important. One mistake now would bring
total disaster. And what did Scoresby do this time – he just mistook his left
hand for his right hand…that was all. An order came for him to fall back and
support our right. Instead, he moved forward and went over the hill to the
left. We were over the hill before this insane movement could be discovered and
stopped. And what did we find? A large and unsuspected Russian army waiting!
And what happened – were we all killed? That is exactly what would have
happened in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred. But no – those surprised
Russians thought that no one regiment by itself would come around there at such
a time.
their allies were steadily retreating all over the field. Our regiment
occupied a position that was extremely important. One mistake now would bring
total disaster. And what did Scoresby do this time – he just mistook his left
hand for his right hand…that was all. An order came for him to fall back and
support our right. Instead, he moved forward and went over the hill to the
left. We were over the hill before this insane movement could be discovered and
stopped. And what did we find? A large and unsuspected Russian army waiting!
And what happened – were we all killed? That is exactly what would have
happened in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred. But no – those surprised
Russians thought that no one regiment by itself would come around there at such
a time.
It must be the whole British army, they
thought. They turned tail, away they went over the hill and down into the field
in wild disorder, and we after them. In no time, there was the greatest turn
around you ever saw. The allies turned defeat into a sweeping and shining
victory.
thought. They turned tail, away they went over the hill and down into the field
in wild disorder, and we after them. In no time, there was the greatest turn
around you ever saw. The allies turned defeat into a sweeping and shining
victory.
The allied commander looked on, his head
spinning with wonder, surprise and joy. He sent right off for Scoresby, and put
his arms around him and hugged him on the field in front of all the armies.
Scoresby became famous that day as a great military leader – honored throughout
the world. That honor will never disappear while history books last.
spinning with wonder, surprise and joy. He sent right off for Scoresby, and put
his arms around him and hugged him on the field in front of all the armies.
Scoresby became famous that day as a great military leader – honored throughout
the world. That honor will never disappear while history books last.
He is just as nice and pleasant as ever,
but he still does not know enough to come in out of the rain. He is the
stupidest man in the universe.
but he still does not know enough to come in out of the rain. He is the
stupidest man in the universe.
Until now, nobody knew it but Scoresby and
myself. He has been followed, day by day, year by year, by a strange luck. He
has been a shining soldier in all our wars for years. He has filled his whole
military life with mistakes. Every one of them brought him another honorary
title. Look at his chest, flooded with British and foreign medals. Well, sir,
every one of them is the record of some great stupidity or other. They are
proof that the best thing that can happen to a man is to be born lucky. I say again, as I did at the dinner, Scoresby’s a
complete fool.
myself. He has been followed, day by day, year by year, by a strange luck. He
has been a shining soldier in all our wars for years. He has filled his whole
military life with mistakes. Every one of them brought him another honorary
title. Look at his chest, flooded with British and foreign medals. Well, sir,
every one of them is the record of some great stupidity or other. They are
proof that the best thing that can happen to a man is to be born lucky. I say again, as I did at the dinner, Scoresby’s a
complete fool.
