http://www.douban.com/group/topic/44096848/
<Healing Pluto Problems> Donna Cunningham
"If they like you, you're it. No easing in and exploring each other, then making up your mind. Possibly, with their keen insight into people, that's all the time it takes to make a valid psychological assessment, but nonetheless it can scare off folks who need longer to make a commitment."
"Fearing abandonment, they attempt to bind the lover with mechanisms described earlier. Out of desperate fear, they often tragically create the abandonment they work so hard to aboid, for they wind up being suffocating."
如果冥王星人喜歡你,那就是你了。沒有緩衝,或者慢慢相處的空隙,他們很快就會把愛燃燒地極其熱烈。也許,憑著冥王星人對人敏銳的洞察力,隻需要這麽短時間就可以做出有效的心理意義上的論斷。但是,這樣仍然會嚇跑那些需要更長相處時間來決定是否深愛的人。
害怕被遺棄,他們會試圖製造一些過早的機製來綁住愛人。隻為走出那令人絕望的恐懼,諷刺的是——他們往往會悲劇性地親手創造自己所努力避免的被遺棄局麵,終究被困住、窒息。
"Most of the time, people who do too much for us or give too much to us don't do it out of the sheer goodness of their hearts. They do it because they want to call the shots. Is it really goodness to rob someone of the oppotunity to learn and grow into greater independence? Is it goodness to make you believe you're incompetent to make a move without them? At some level, you know you're being robbed, and you come to resent the symbiosis. When you assert yourself or "selfishly" want to do what you need for your own happiness and futher development, your so-called benefactor pulls the strings to manipulate you into guilty. Again, the plutonian motive is control. It's all very subtle, of course, and that's why it's so effective."
大多時候,人們為你做太多或者給你太多並不完全出於好心,他們有所圖。剝奪別人學習與更進一步獨立的機會真的就是一件好事?又或者讓你相信沒有他們你就動彈不得真的很好?在某種程度上,你知道自己被洗劫了,而且你痛恨這種依賴關係。當你堅持自己,或者“自私”地想要追求自己的幸福與發展時,你所謂的恩人就會繃緊手中操縱的線來讓你覺得愧疚。不管怎麽說,冥王星人的動機就是控製。這非常細微,不過當然——也是其如此有效的原因。
Sometimes we carry resentments around for years after these painful partings. This is also an illusory power trip—a way of holding on to other people, even though they may have long since forgotten us. We fantasize about meeting them again—or "dread" another meeting. We fantasize getting even. We fantasize getting rich and powerful—or dead—just to show them or to make them sorry they ever left us. The very folks we love to hate are usually the ones we once loved the most. It doesn't give us power over them, but it gives them immense power over us. In hanging onto the resentment long after the relationship has ended, we are still giving over power to the other person. The more we resent someone or something, the more power we give up, and the more we are controlled. These people become immensely important in our lives, even though we may now be insignificant in theirs. As we brood over them, they grow in our imagination, becoming less and less the real people we loved and more and more bigger-than-life monsters. Go visit the dragon; you may find nothing but a worm.
有時在那些痛苦的分離之後我們帶著恨意很多年。這亦是一場虛幻的權力較量之旅——一種執著對方不放的方法,盡管他們早就忘了我們是誰。我們想象著再次見到,或者害怕再見到;想象著以牙還牙以眼還眼;想象著變得富有且充滿力量,或者死掉,僅僅為了向他們顯示什麽從而讓他們因離開而覺得愧疚。這個我們恨的人曾是最愛。所有行為並不會賦予我們淩駕於他人之上的力量,正好相反:即使關係已經結束很多年,我們仍被恨意攫住,向他們灌注無窮的能量。我們愈恨某人,就放棄愈多權力,也愈被控製得厲害;這些人在我們生命中變得無比重要,即使我們於他們毫無意義。“它們”在我們的思維裏醞釀,想象中成長,變得越來越不像曾經愛的人而更接近一頭超越現實生活的猛獸。去拜訪那條惡龍吧!你會發現它隻是一條不起眼的小蟲。