1. Life isn't fair, it's an affair.
2. When in doubt, don't shout. If shout, keep loud.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Let'em go to hell then.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick, because you are sick of your job.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month. -What does a credit card do if I don't owe?