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靈子: 四十歲後的女人

(2007-04-30 05:28:55) 下一個

Women after 40

Lingzi


How old are you? Will you tell me your age without hesitation if youare a woman over 40?  Some of us are afraid to tell our real age.  Why?A few years ago, one of my co-workers got upset when people threw abirthday party for her when she turned 40. I am sure you have heard thephrase, "Over the Hill". I did not understand it when the first time Iheard it. People explained to me that the age 40 is the top of thehill, and after the 40, life goes down hill. Is being 40 years old thatbad? Is there really a hill? I am 42 now.  How come I am not feeling mylife going down hill already? In my dictionary, the age 40 is just asbeautiful as the age 20, or is just as beautiful as 60 or 80.  Age isjust a number, a counter of life span.  

Here is a story I would like to share with you:

Two weeks ago, I watched an Oprah Winfred Show.  Oprah brought a ladynamed Evonne to the stage. Oprah asked the audience to guess how oldEvonne was.  The audience just randomly guessed between 35 and50.  Actually Evonne is 70 years old this year. When Evonne goes outwith her 50-year-old son, people think she's his date!  Evonne takescare of herself by exercising right, eating right, and she has onesecret she shared with the audience. The secret is moisturizing.  Shemoisturizes everyday. We should start to do it too, hmm?   One thing Evonne is doing right is taking care of herself.  

Another lady is Marcia.  When Marcia was a little girl, she was crazyabout horses.  She lived in the city, so she never could get her ownhorse.  In her mid-40s, Marcia decided to reshape her life;  she packedup and moved to Austin, Texas. She bought her first horse just beforeher 47th birthday and she got her Bachelor's degree at age 50. Marciaeven turned her love of horses into a business. She looks beautiful andyoung.  Marcia says that things that keep her looking young are herattitude and the fact that she is doing what she loves to do. Shefollowed her dream. We need to follow our dream, don’t we? We need todo something we enjoy.

How can we live a beautiful life and have a young heart? I was thinking over and over.

First, a caring and loving heart. With that, we admire people aroundus, we help the people who need help, and we accept people who evenmade mistakes.

At the age of 40, most women are somebody’s wife, somebody’s mom,somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister, or somebody’s friend.  We playmany roles, and we have a lot of responsibilities. One key role wesometimes forget is caring for ourselves.

So secondly, we owe ourselves the responsibility to take care ofourselves. If we don’t, how is that possible we can be strong enough totake care of others?


The third, a hobby or a special talent you enjoy. You are passionateabout it and love to do it even when you are alone. Some people like tosing, dancing, reading, music and sports, anything you have fun withit.

The last and foremost is friendship. The real friends are always therefor you no matter if you are up or down. They cheer you up, and comfortyou or even remind or alert you when they think necessary.

You can see I am expecting for my third baby now. Things are notflexible as before; however, I still try to get many activities aspossible. Besides my full time work, and the care of my two young daughters,I enjoy singing, dancing, writing and many more other activities, See,I came tonight to give a speech since I did not want to miss thisopportunity to share my thought with you. Some people asked my age whenthey saw I am expecting, I always happily tell them that I am 42 years,and still expecting the baby, and still expecting many other beautifulthings in my life.  

Monday and Tuesday this week was winter break for Northville schooldistrict. I took two days off and with girls. We had a blasted timetogether. We planned to go out for lunch, movie and sledding. The mostsparkling time on that day was when I watched the girls go sleddingfrom the top of the hill.  They screamed with joy.  I can not sled withmy current shape, so I sat in my car comfortably, with soft jazz musicon. Through the window, I could see the girls flying on their sledswith a beautiful white snow background, the sunshine was reflectinginto my car. I also could feel the kicking from my tummy. That moment,with seeing kids flying, music, sun and kicking, I felt great! I feltlife was just precious, I am very thankful for everything I have.

Even though I am over 40, I do not think I am over the hill yet. Ifthere is a hill, the top must be at the front door to heaven.  We cannot predict when God will take us. But before that, life should bealways going up hill. <>  should not evenbe a topic, since there is no boundary anywhere. My friends, that is myreal thought.  Let’s open our eyes and hearts to see beautiful worldaround us, enjoy our beautiful and precious life in any moment.

 

 

 

四十歲後的女人



如果你是一個四十歲以上的女人,你會無所顧忌地告訴別人你的年紀嗎?我們中間有些人是不會的。為什麽呢?幾年前我的一個同事竟然很沮喪當大家給她開四十歲生日聚會。我想你可能聽說過:“過了山頂”一說。第一次聽到時,我並不懂它的含義。朋友解釋說,四十歲就是山頂,過了四十,生命就開始走下坡路了。四十歲真的那麽糟糕嗎?真的有座山嗎?我已過了四十了,怎麽沒有下山的感覺呢?在我的字典裏,"四十"和"二十"是一樣美麗的;或者說"四十"和"六十"、"八十"一樣具有意義和美麗的。年紀隻是一個記載我們生命的數據,難道不是嗎?

兩星期前,我無意中觀看到Oprah Winfred主持的電視劇。Oprah在台上首先介紹了一位嘉賓Evonne,讓觀眾猜她的年紀。大家估計Evonne 在三十五到五十之間。實際上,Evonne今年七十歲,當Evonne 和她五十歲的兒子一起散步的時候,人們認為他和她是約會的伴侶!Evonne的養生之道在於吃得營養健康和堅持鍛煉。她說還有個秘密就是每天都需要均勻地塗上護膚品。我們也應該開始這麽做,對吧?  Evonne 做的很正確的一件事就是照顧好自己。

還有一位嘉賓Marcia。Marcia小時候就非常地喜歡馬,但是她住在城市,沒有機會養馬。四十多歲的時候,Marcia決定換個活法。她一鼓作氣地搬家去了德克薩斯州。Marcia在四十七歲生日前買了第一匹馬,五十歲的時候拿到了本科學位。Marcia對馬的愛好還讓她有機會發展了自己成功的生意。Marcia其實已有五十五歲了,但她看起來年輕又漂亮。Marcia在台上說她永保青春的秘密是對生活的態度,還有就是她做她喜愛的事。Marcia圓了兒時的夢,實現了自己的理想。

那麽怎樣才能保持一顆年輕的心,活得美麗、瀟灑呢?我反複地思考著。。。

首先,我們需要一顆愛心。有了這顆愛心,我們會去讚美周圍的人,也會去幫助那些需要幫助的人,並且我們會接受和原諒那些有錯或者傷害了我們的人。

四十歲的女人往往已是為人妻,為人母。上有老,下有小,還有工作。身上的擔子不輕,不過常常我們會忘了自己。

所以,第二,我們欠自己一個重擔,就是照顧好自己,像Evonne一樣。否則,我們怎會強壯得有能力去照顧別人呢?心有餘而力不足的主婦有什麽用呢?

第三,我們每人都需要一個愛好。你非常地熱愛。即使獨處,你也會熱情高漲地去做的一件事。有的人愛好唱歌、跳舞、閱讀、音樂、運動。。。隻要你喜歡的都可以。

最後一項但非常重要的就是友誼。真正的朋友會在你身邊無論你處境如何。她們會祝賀你,安慰你。也會在關鍵的時候提醒你。

愛心,能力照顧自己,愛好,朋友。。。如果你缺少的話,努力擁有吧。

你們可以看出我已是七個月的身孕了,等待著第三個孩子的出生。舉手抬足沒有以往那麽靈便了。不過,我還是盡力參加許多活動。除了每天的工作和照顧兩個女兒以外,我喜歡唱歌、跳舞(孕婦拉丁舞)、寫作和其它一些活動。你瞧,我今晚來參加演講比賽,就是不想錯過這個機會來分享我的觀點。有人看見我挺個肚子就問我多大了。我總是笑迷迷地告訴他們:“我已42啦,仍然期望著新生命的到來,仍然期望著許多其它美麗的事情發生。”

這個星期女兒們放了兩天冬假。我特地請了兩天假陪她們。我們把兩天時間安排的滿滿的,一起出去吃中飯,電影,滑雪板滑雪。這兩天的時間過得真快,和女兒們在一起快樂無比。那一天最難忘的時刻是看見孩子們從山頂上滑下來,她們快樂得大聲喊叫。我目前的體型是不能滑雪的。我舒服地斜靠在車裏,欣賞著輕柔的爵士音樂。通過車窗,我可以看見女兒們在雪白潔淨的山坡上飛滑下來,太陽光慷慨地從車窗外灑進來。不時地,我可以感覺懷裏的小生命的移動。那個瞬間,遠處孩子們的飛滑和嘻笑,音樂,陽光還有肚子裏的胎動,讓我真滿足,感覺好極了!我仔細體會著生活的美麗和珍貴。我非常感恩我生活中擁有的一切。

雖然我已過四十,卻沒有下山的感覺。如果有座山,山頂不是在四十歲,而是在通向天國的前門。我們不能預測上帝什麽時候會領我們去天國,在那之前,生活之路應該是永遠地向上。<<四十後的女人>>不應該是一個話題,因為那從來就不是一個界線。親愛的朋友,這就是我今天想和大家分享的真實想法。讓我們睜開雙眼欣賞這美麗的世界,讓我們敞開心懷去珍惜生命的每一個瞬間。

 


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閱讀 ()評論 (5)
評論
toobusy 回複 悄悄話 Definitely agree we should take care of ourselves. But we cannot be in denial either.
deledele 回複 悄悄話 Admire your metality and spirits.
Have fun.
花枝俏 回複 悄悄話 42歲生小孩,有點兒玩大了,良好的心態並不就是"裝嫩” 。人生中沒有hill,人生是旅途,不同的階段有不同的風景,並且是 "風景這邊獨好"。
臭老王 回複 悄悄話 靈子又是洋文又是國文,果然靈呀!如此靈子會聽女人40“過了山頂”還不明白意思?還有,Oprah Winfred主持的talk show也能翻成“Oprah Winfred主持的電視劇”?
xyczy 回複 悄悄話 說的好啊, 我剛剛40歲,以前覺得女人過了40歲就開始走下坡路了,現在看來,人生從40歲開始!我還不算太老!
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