椿芽 - toona buds？ toona sprouts？
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我問了我的美國同事，都不是。
很早期，還看不見葉子的時候才叫 buds；種子破土而出，發出的芽和子葉才叫 sprouts。。。他看了我的香椿芽的照片，說這種情況恐怕隻能叫 young leaves 或 new leaves。
diaozhi 發表評論於
椿芽 - toona buds？ toona sprouts？
In deference to your original idea, I changed buds back to sprouts :-) -
On toona branches, the new sprouts blaze ever so bright!
In a blink of an eye, many decades have quietly drawn nigh.
Hopelessly lost in thought, I reflect on the years gone by,
Many a yesterday unfolds, grabbing my heavy heart tight.
On Toona branches, sprouts are so bright,
In a blink of an eye, decades have passed.
I lost in thoughts, reflecting on the past,
Yesterday unfolds, grabing my gloomy mind.
Wow! Yes, personally, I like the revision much better. But then, it is only one reader's opinion.
Thanks for indulging in my egotistical mumblings. Happy writing!
(On toona branches, the new buds glitter ever so bright!
In a blink of an eye, many decades have quietly drawn nigh.
Hopelessly lost in thought, I reflect on the years gone by,
Many a yesterday unfolds, grabbing my heavy heart tight.)
唐宋韻 發表評論於
回複 'diaozhi' 的評論 :
謝謝您的灼見，試著修改如下 ——
On Toona branches, sprouts are so bright,
In a blink of an eye, decades have passed.
I lost in thoughts, reflecting on the past,
Yesterday unfolds, grabing my gloomy mind.
With the above said, I would humbly offer these suggestions for consideration with a view to improving/perfecting the poem's English translation:
1) maybe it is just me, but I was looking for a verb in the first line (stretched/read slightly differently, "sprout" can be a verb？)
2) twinkle - blink might be a better choice of word in the context?
3) turn my gaze behind - the physical act of looking backward is much less a concern here; rather, thinking back/reflecting on years past is meant？
4) if the first line was lacking a verb, the last line maybe had one verb too many?
唉，班門弄斧，好為人師，怕這輩子改不了了。見笑。
唐宋韻 發表評論於
回複 'diaozhi' 的評論 :
哈哈，有詩的。是放在上篇的一開始，作為“引子”。請指正 ——
枝上椿芽豔，白駒過隙寬。
茫茫回首望，曆曆不成歡。
On Toona branches, the pink sprout so bright,
In the twinkle of an eye, decades have passed.
Lost in thoughts, I turn my gaze behind,
The past unfolds, its weight sinks my heart.
