From book "The elements of business writing"
Customers, colleagues, and clients like to deal with people who are warm, friendly, and pleasant. But the writer of this memo comes accross as a petty martinet, falling back on such antiquated phrases as "Please find attached" (instead of the more conversational "I've enclosed" or "Here is"), "please advice" (should be "let me know"), and "at your earliest convenience" (substitue "as soon as you can").
If the writer had obeyed our "Rule 7. Write in natural conversational style," he or she might have written the following:
Here's a press release featuring our output extruder screw. Didn't we stop making these? If so, we shouldn't be sending out press release promoting them. Please let me know the status of this product as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Pat Jones, advertising manager
P.S. We've received three inqueries from this release. Should I send them our extruder screw brochure or our general all-inline catalog?
(I think "Sincerely" should be "Regards". Author suggested in the same book later that it is better use "Regards" than "Sincerely")
(My question: Should the P.S.line be moved before "Sincerely"? Anyway, this is the original copy from the book. The author's focus here is on the tone of the email)
