【七律】無題

【七律】無題

 

一百年中不共船，共船便可渡百年。

鍾情何限雨雲內，有愛難窮芳草邊。

未卜先知應一命，相睽後覺是前緣。

千秋萬載時光盡，落日嬋娟共枕眠。

 

Untitled

 

We had been on our separate ways for a hundred years, in preparation for an eventual encounter.

Now finally we're on the same boat, on time's river, together to ride it through another hundred years.

 

We have come to realization that love isn't limited to physical intimacy such as that between clouds and rains.

Love is endless when we have each other by our side.

 

Without resorting to divination we already had foreknowledge that we'll share the same fate.

At first sight we knew that our loving each other has long been decided before our birth.

 

Even after thousands of years, even after time ends, the setting sun and the rising moon share the same pillow, the earth.

 

(© December 6, 2023, godog)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

所有跟帖： 

• 欣賞老師佳作，前二聯尤好 -lilly28- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 10:00:01

• 謝謝Lily詩友鼓勵，很高興你喜歡拙作 -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 19:11:45

• 兩首並賞！喜歡！問好 -天玉之- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 12:02:37

• 謝謝玉教。問好 -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 19:12:23

• 看來樓外風景不錯，睡覺不用掛窗簾。好律！ -白九- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 12:09:15

• 謝謝白九老師臨讀鼓勵。我還得琢磨一下老師這句話的意思：）） -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 19:14:32

• 玩笑！ -白九- ♂ (114 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 20:33:31

• 白九老師這玩笑開得雅。白九老師隻是稍微轉了個彎我就沒跟上：） -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/07/2023 postreply 21:40:47

• 這首風格很獨特，有現代詩的影子。另我覺得你的英文功底很好。多才多藝，觸類旁通！ -作業本- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 12:35:33

• 作業兄觀察敏銳。我主要是寫現代詩的，最近在嚐試在古體詩中揉合現代詩的手法，思想，元素，看能不能用舊瓶裝新酒，如果能擴展這 -godog- ♂ (63 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 19:20:07

• 寫的真棒。 -蘇牧- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 12:50:25

• 謝謝蘇兄臨讀鼓勵 -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 19:21:19

• 再讚！ -方外居士- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 13:04:37

• 再謝方外兄 -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 19:21:53

• 尤喜首聯，風趣直白的口語，而完全入律。 -中間小謝- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/06/2023 postreply 22:00:05

• 謝謝詩友臨讀及喜歡拙作 -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/07/2023 postreply 20:26:22

• ＂渡百年＂的百字難道沒有出律？ -惜也- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/07/2023 postreply 04:14:30

• 惜也老師是對的，這裏的百字出律了，當時想過換用千字，想想還是保留了百字，覺得頭兩句重複百年和共船這兩個詞帶來的效果的好處 -godog- ♂ (108 bytes) () 12/07/2023 postreply 20:20:18

• 知道出律，權衡再三而予保留，也是學詩的真實心路。但是，這句這樣寫，恐怕不行。 -惜也- ♀ (179 bytes) () 12/08/2023 postreply 02:31:39

• 謝謝惜也老師再次留評，惜也老師可能是格律的完美主義者，我不是，我容許有一兩處出律，除了每句的第七 -godog- ♂ (228 bytes) () 12/09/2023 postreply 10:09:41