試譯米兄推薦的Williams的"The Red Wheelbarrow"

The Red Wheelbarrow 紅獨輪車

 

 By William Carlos Williams, 1883 – 1963

 

Chinese Interpretation by老哈哈 

 

so much depends
upon

事事

       都離不開的

a red wheel
barrow

紅
        推車，

glazed with rain
water

被雨水
        洗的閃亮，

beside the white
chickens.

停在
      （出舍悠閑的）白母雞旁。

譯注：
     大嘴四米詩友出題，滿壇聳動。諸詩友佳譯疊出，實乃文壇一幸事，哈哈不敢錯過。William Carlos William 是哈哈景仰的印象派詩仙，其故居離哈哈的居所不遠，新州農院的氣息，推窗即可呼吸，隻是詩人傳遞的生活關聯和自然和諧，僅用一句流出，卻非哈哈粗陋的文筆可以寫出。田園寫生，取意深遠，言簡意賅，與之意境相似的古詩句，似有王維的《山居秋暝》可參：

 

空山新雨後，天氣晚來秋。
明月鬆間照，清泉石上流。
竹喧歸浣女，蓮動下漁舟。
隨意春芳歇，王孫自可留。

從不同語言互譯的角度，要達到“信-達-雅”的要求並不易，至少對哈哈而言，做作業時大致參考了以下幾處評論：

… "The key, the master-key to the age," Williams said of the modern movement in literature, "was that jump from the feeling to the word itself: that which had been got down, the thing to be judged and valued accordingly." But we shouldn't forget that poems are made of line-breaks as well as words, and "so much depends", in this poem, on the splitting of the two compound words, "wheelbarrow" and "rainwater". These dissections slow us down, and help the mind's eye to register more: the individual wheels as well as the body of the barrow, the water that is more than raindrops. …” -- 所謂由景生情，可窺一斑。

… "The Red Wheelbarrow" evades what it seems to invite: a simple, visual interpretation. It seems to be absolutely clear, but, at the same time, it's a riddle. Whatever you may decide the poem means intellectually, as an art-object it holds on to its own indelible shape and color. Its images are irrefutable, and no amount of verbal rain will ever wash them from the memory they have entered – nor dull the shiny, spring-like, fresh-paint patina of happiness that this particular wheelbarrow seems to carry. --如果譯文過於矯情，難免有咖啡加茶的嫌疑。

所有跟帖： 

• 沒讀過這位詩人的詩。看了哈哈兄的帖，我嚴重懷疑自己翻譯錯了。 -寒硯- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/28/2014 postreply 15:18:05

• 我也剛在我原貼裏加了第二版。 -ling1984- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/28/2014 postreply 15:27:09

• 多謝靈姐告知，我去看看。 -寒硯- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/28/2014 postreply 15:30:48

• 謝謝哈哈兄引導， 光讀大嘴老師出的這一小段英文，讀者們真會根據自己的生活經驗去解讀它的函意。還好有你的筆記，才不會誤入歧途。 -ling1984- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/28/2014 postreply 15:57:52

• 哈哈好！ -阿童木牧- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/28/2014 postreply 19:48:59