周末一笑: 在珍珠港受傷(ZT)

來源: 南山鬆 2015-09-04 16:45:23 [] [博客] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 本文已被閱讀: 次 (3718 bytes)

1 在珍珠港受傷

While vacationing in the Hawaiian Islands, I visited the World War II memorial atop the sunken U. S.  Battleship Arizona, a monument to those who died in the attack on Pearl Harbor. On board, I slipped on a stairway and injured my thumb.

Back home, with the thumb still not healing properly, I called my doctor for an appointment. When I was asked the nature of my illness, I thought I’d give the background and began," I was injured at Pearl Harbor..."

"Well,” the nurse interrupted. “It took you long enough to report it!”

 2 公民權力

On the first day of an American history class at Purdue University in Indiana, the professor assigned five chapters on civil rights.  The next day, he asked one of my classmates to name ten of those rights.  When the student made no response, the professor said, "ALL RIGHT. Name five. "Still the student said nothing. Finally, the exasperated professor begged, "Just name one right you have as a civilian."

To a room full of laughter, the young man replied, “I have the right to remain silent.”

 3 誰是主宰

Driving our family to a new restaurant, I took several wrong turns.  When I finally found the right road, I asked my husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?"

"I thought you knew where you were going, “he replied. “You always know where you're going when I'm driving.”

 4 知音

After friends of mine landed at busy Newark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

In an instant, a skycap was at his side. "Sir," observed the porter, "you certainly have excellent communication skills."

 5 為母親約會

When the young waitress in the cafe in my building started waving hello every day, I was flattered. She was at least 15 years younger than I.

One day she waved and beckoned to me.  When I strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

“Why, yes,” I replied, smiling at her broadly.

“So is my mom,” she said. ”Would you like to meet her?"

 6 有同情心的訪客

A big burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

“Madam,” he said in a broken voice,” I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district.

The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving.

They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400.”

“How terrible!” Exclaimed the preacher's wife. ”May I ask who you are?”

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. ”I'm the landlord.” he sobbed.

 

所有跟帖: 

珍珠 vs. 珍貴 secret -走馬讀人- 給 走馬讀人 發送悄悄話 走馬讀人 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 09/04/2015 postreply 17:46:59

問好走馬讀人, 周末快樂! -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 09/05/2015 postreply 06:02:48

“You always know where you're going when I'm driving.” So true.. -肖莊- 給 肖莊 發送悄悄話 肖莊 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 09/05/2015 postreply 21:42:09

haha, you know it. 肖莊, have a nice weekend! -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 09/06/2015 postreply 05:56:35

Attention split - perils of multitasking, focusing on driving ca -TJKCB- 給 TJKCB 發送悄悄話 TJKCB 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 09/15/2015 postreply 16:49:17

Songsong,thanks for those funny jokes as always.Happy Labor Day. -婉蕠- 給 婉蕠 發送悄悄話 婉蕠 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 09/07/2015 postreply 10:45:04

Thanks 婉蕠, have a nice week! -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 09/07/2015 postreply 13:49:55

喜歡你這個係列,總能在笑聲中學東東:) -beautifulwind- 給 beautifulwind 發送悄悄話 beautifulwind 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 09/07/2015 postreply 16:37:01

謝謝美風喜歡,新周愉快! -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 09/07/2015 postreply 19:14:00

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