我喜歡奧斯卡·王爾德（Oscar Wilde）。他集機智、毒舌、哲思和浪漫於一身，是諷刺文學大師。
以下是掛一漏萬的王爾德幽默語錄：
一、愛情與婚姻
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
男人結婚是因為厭倦，女人結婚是因為好奇；兩者最後都失望。
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
婚姻是想象力戰勝智慧的勝利。第二次婚姻是希望戰勝經驗的勝利。
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
愛情是盲目的，但婚姻是真的大開眼界。
No man ever commits a sin while his wife is present.
妻子麵前，男人無罪可犯。
二、人生與虛偽
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
擺脫誘惑的唯一方法就是屈服於它。
I can resist everything except temptation.
我能抵抗一切，除了誘惑。
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
我們都在陰溝裏，但仍有人仰望星空。
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
活著是世界上最稀有的事情。大多數人隻是生存，僅此而已。
三、社交與道德
One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who tells one that would tell one anything.
永遠不要相信告訴你自己真實年齡的女人。一個敢這麽說的女人，什麽都敢告訴你。
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
總是原諒你的敵人；沒有什麽比這更讓他們惱火的。
四、財富與名利
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
世界上唯一比被閑言碎語更糟糕的事，就是沒人談論你。
The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.
婚姻的唯一魅力在於，它讓雙方都必須生活在謊言中。
五、死亡與存在
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
生活太重要，不能認真對待。
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
有些人，無論走到哪裏，都能帶來幸福；有些人，隻要他們離開，就皆大歡喜。
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
我的品味很簡單。隻要是最好的，我就滿足。
六、藝術與美
Art is the most intense mode of individualism that the world has known.
藝術是世界上最強烈的個人主義表現。
Beauty is the most important thing in life. There is nothing more important than beauty.
美是生活中最重要的東西。世上沒有什麽比美更重要。
An artist is the creator of beautiful things. A critic is one who can’t create, but who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
藝術家是美的創造者。評論家是自己不能創造，卻知道一切事物的價格，但不知道任何東西的價值。
王爾德“一度”是英國最風光的作家和社交名流，但因一場醜聞被判入獄。服刑兩年後，他身敗名裂，窮困潦倒，淪落到巴黎一家破旅館裏。他臥病在床，一天到晚麵對牆上醜陋的舊壁紙。臨終前，他忍無可忍地說：“Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.”——“要麽牆紙走，要麽我走。”
