Are you going to get a divorce? If not, why bother? If you are divorcing, why refinance?
Assuming you are getting a divorce, unless he is willing to move out himself, the other way you can achieve this legally is to ask him to give up the house to you by a transmutation at refinancing, which is very unlikely. Regardless how the title was held, if this house is community property, he is entitled to half and he has rights to live there. That being said, there is a way to get him out. You must file for divorce first. At asset separation, you can petition the court to live in the house until the kids reach majority. The court is most likely to grant your petition if you can show that moving out would have uprooted your kids' lives. The court will retain jurisdiction until years later to divide the house. You may be required to pay rent to your hu*****and though. Of course you can buy the house from him at divorce if he is willing to sell, which is unlikely since the house prices are down and it is not the best time to sell. Many spouses do not want to sell to the divorcing spouse solely based on grudges. Thus, the most common way is to sell the house right away and divide the fund afterwards.
Now regarding the mortgage. If you refinance before divorce, this debt is incurred during marraige thus deemed community debt, which he is also responsible to half of the amount, regardless whether you refinance on your own or refinance together with him. If you move out, he is also obligated to pay half the mortgage payment. The common way to do this is to freeze your assets at filing of the divorce, then set up a common account if you do not have one already to pay for daily expenses including the mortgage payment. You can still live in the house. Your six month cooling period, however, must start at filing since you still physically live together.
