1 什麽叫叛徒?/What is a traitor?
Young hopeful: "Father, what is a traitor in politics?"
Father (a veteran politician):"A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one."
Young hopeful: "Well then, what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours?"
Father: "A convert, my son."
有希望的青年人：“父親，什麽叫政治叛徒?”
父親(一位老資格的政治家)：“叛徒指的是離開我們黨而加入到另一個黨的人。”
有希望的青年人：“那麽，離開他的黨而加入到我們黨的人又叫什麽呢?”
父親：“叫改變信仰者，我的兒子。”
2 水的分子式
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Blonde: HIJKLMNO!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Blonde: Yesterday you said it‘s H to O!
老師：水的分子式是什麽?
花瓶：HIJKLMNO!!
老師：你在說什麽?
花瓶：昨天你不是說H to O嗎?
3 如果我是一個經理
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.
一天課上，老師要同學們以“如果我是一個經理”為題寫一篇作文。
所有的學生都在動筆寫了，隻有一個男生例外。老師走過去問他為什麽不寫。
“我在等我的秘書”。那孩子答道。
4 不是我的錯
Mother (reprimanding her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
媽媽(正教訓她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。
女兒：媽，我隻是握著貓尾巴，它自己在拽。
5 欠揍的理發師
Being rather bald，I have long been used to comforting myself on a visit to the hairdresser with the opening gambit， “Grass doesn’t grow on a busy street.”
However，I was not prepared for the response of one barber， “We always say there’s no sense in putting a roof on the barren land.”
每次去美發中心的時候，我總是以一句自我安慰的話，來提及我那近乎禿頂的腦袋，“繁華的馬路不會長草。”
沒想到，有位理發師這樣應了我一句：“我們是認為，荒蕪的土地就不需要有屋頂。”
6 學地理
Misha is a pupil in Grade 5 and has just begun studying geography. One day after supper, Misha's father asked Do you like geography，Misha?”
"Yes，Dad，I like it very much.” Misha said.
"You learned about the density of population in various parts in the world” Misha’s father asked.
"Yes，of course，we have." Misha answered.
“Do you know where people are the most populous?” Misha’s father asked.
Misha didn't answer immediately. He thought and thought，and then he burst out， “People are the most populous in the bus on Sunday.”
米沙是小學五年級的學生，剛開始學地理。一天晚飯後，他爸爸問他:“米沙，你喜歡地理嗎?”
“喜歡，爸爸，我非常喜歡。”米沙說。
“你們學過世界不同地區的人口密度嗎?”爸爸問。
“當然學過。”米沙回答。
“你知道哪兒的人口密度最大嗎?”爸爸又問。
米沙沒有馬上回答，他想了好一會兒，然後突然大聲叫道:“星期天的公共汽車上人口密度最大。”
