周末一笑: 沒問題(ZT)

本帖於 2015-10-16 18:22:24 時間, 由普通用戶 南山鬆 編輯

1 沒問題

A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.

"How can I help you?" asked the stylist. "I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain.

If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000."

"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.

2 我媽媽不是那樣子的

While doing renovations in our house, one of the workmen paused to look at a flattering photo of me wearing makeup and a fancy gown.

I heard him let out a low whistle and ask my son, Joshua,”Who's that? ““That's my mom,”Joshua answered.

“Wow,”the man said, “My mother doesn't look like that.”“Yeah,”my son said, “well, neither does mine. “

3 誰都沒空

I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in the shed. She could see from the bedroom window.

As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things.  I phoned the police, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available.

I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've shot them all."

Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

4 在天堂結婚

A young couple was on their way to get married when they had an accident and died.

Now they were in front of St. Peter and the young lady asked if they could get married. St. Peter told them, he would have to get back to them with an answer.

Around 30 days later St. Peter returns and tells the couple that they can get married in heaven.

The young lady then asks St. Peter, “If things just don't work out can we get a divorce?"  St.Peter looks at her and replies, " Lady it took me 30 days to find a preacher up here do you really think I am going to find a lawyer?!!"

5 智力缺陷

 "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked ..."how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied.

"You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." " Well, What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them.

Which one?' Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

6 現代騎士精神

Sitting in his cab waiting for a fare, my friend's husband, William,watched as a torrential downpour left lake-size puddles just off the curb of the busy street.

Then the back door opened and a customer got in.

As William asked the destination, the would-be passenger exited through the other door, successfully avoiding the puddles.

“Thanks,” she said. “Chivalry isn't dead after all.”

 

所有跟帖: 

Wow, 這期的[周末一笑]還附有中英配樂朗讀和單詞講解等,既好笑又好聽。謝鬆鬆,周末好。 -珈玥- 給 珈玥 發送悄悄話 珈玥 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/16/2015 postreply 18:33:00

謝謝珈玥,周末快樂! -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/16/2015 postreply 18:40:28

棒極!各種方式來理解記住掌握笑一笑,鬆鬆,你太棒了!! -beautifulwind- 給 beautifulwind 發送悄悄話 beautifulwind 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/16/2015 postreply 19:08:21

謝謝美風喜歡和鼓勵, 周末快樂! -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/17/2015 postreply 09:37:15

Chivalry vs Chicken -走馬讀人- 給 走馬讀人 發送悄悄話 走馬讀人 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/16/2015 postreply 19:08:50

非常好的對比. 問好走馬讀人, 周末快樂! -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/17/2015 postreply 09:38:08

Cool! -肖莊- 給 肖莊 發送悄悄話 肖莊 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/16/2015 postreply 20:09:10

Thanks Xiaozhuang, have a nice weekend! -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/17/2015 postreply 09:39:16

好! -yingyudidida- 給 yingyudidida 發送悄悄話 yingyudidida 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/17/2015 postreply 19:05:38

問好yingyudidida, 新周快樂! -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/18/2015 postreply 17:54:50

Comprehensive approach (spoken, lisenting reading): Creative, in -TJKCB- 給 TJKCB 發送悄悄話 TJKCB 的博客首頁 (111 bytes) () 10/26/2015 postreply 10:06:33

問好TJKCB:) -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 12/22/2015 postreply 17:15:52

請您先登陸,再發跟帖!