1 請假
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
2 這到底是哪兒
Stormy weather diverted our Dallas-bound flight to another airport.
As we approached the runway, the pilot came on the intercom: "For those of you who are not familiar with the area, this is Lubbock, Texas."
Then he paused. "And for those of you who are familiar with this area, I think this is Lubbock, Texas."
3 三隻海龜
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
4 彈鋼琴
A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation.
B: Yes, of course.
A: Great. I never could before.
5 吉娃娃怎麽可能會要了羅威納犬的命
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that Rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!” a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
"Well, I think my Chihuahua just killed him."
"What are you talking about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my Rottweiler?"
"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"
圖: Chihuahua and Rottweiler
6 幫忙
Father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes.
Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.
