1 補洞
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”
“Forget it,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”
“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. "And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.”
2 我丈夫剛進來
The couple seated in restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table，their waiter suddenly rushed over.
“Madam look,”he said.“Your husband just slid under the table.”
“No,he didn't,”she replied.“My husband just came in the door.”
3 人們什麽時候說話最少？
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
4 老鼠吹牛
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.
The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"
The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"
Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."
5 第一次到美國
Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat, they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches, they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs.
One says to the other in a shocked tone, "My God. Do they eat dogs in America?"
"I don't know!" says the other, equally appalled.
"Well," says the first, "we're going to be Americans, so we must do as they do."
They approach the vendor bravely, "Two hot dogs, please."
The vendor hands them their food in a pair of paper sacks. The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat their lunch.
One looks inside his sack, hesitates and turns to his partner and says, "Uh, which part of the dog did you get?"
6 隻聽到一半
John:"Doctor, lately I hear only half as good as I suppose to".
Doctor:"I don't understand that, but let’s try a small test. Say after me: eighty-eight".
John: "Fourty-four."
