1 糟糕的上班日 Bad Day at Work
A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee. On his first day at work, he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool, you have dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you are talking to, dumb?"
"No," replied the trainee.
"You fool, I am the General Manager of the company."
The man shouted back immediately, "And do you know who you are talking to, you fool?"
"No," replied the General Manager.
"Good!” replied the trainee and then put down the phone.
2 接聽熨鬥 Answer the Iron
A guy walks into his office, and both of his ears are all bandaged up.
The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang! I accidentally answered the iron. "
The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"
He says, “Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"
3 聰明的目擊人 A Smart Witness
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying.
The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see the accident?"
The witness: "Yes, sir."
The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?"
The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches."
The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness):"Well, sir, will you please tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?"
The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that silly question."
4 律師的兒子 Lawyer's Son
The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with honors, and then went home to join his father's firm.
At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, father, in one day I broke the car accident case that you have been working on for ten years!"
His father responded: "You idiot, our company lived on the funding of that case for ten years!"
5 纏住不放 Persistence
Returning from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. “Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?”
“Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win,” my husband hedged. “We just play to have fun.”
Undaunted, Sara said, “Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?”
6 激動的話 Excited Remarks
Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was “Not as long as I'm alive.”
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, “Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.”
(From internet)
