1 稱讚 Praise
Mrs. White asked Mr. White: “Is this suit beautiful?”
Mr. White answered: “Whatever you wear is beautiful.”
“How about the necklace?” ”Any necklace around your neck is nice.”
“Do you think my husband handsome?” “Darling, no matter which man stands beside you, he is handsome.”
“Do you think my husband handsome?” “Darling, no matter which man stands beside you, he is handsome.”
2 一位了不起的天才 A Remarkable Talent
"Did you know I could tell time by the piano?" asked one friend of another.
"You're kidding," replied his companion dubiously.
"I'll show you," said the first man as he sat down at the piano and started to hammer out a martial tune.
Within seconds came a pounding on the wall, and an angry voice shouting,
"Hey, you son of a bitch, don’t you realize it’s three o’clock in the morning?"
3 一個早熟的小孩 A Precocious Child
When the door-to-door salesman rang the doorbell of the suburban home, he was taken aback when a 10-year-old boy opened the door smoking a big cigar. The salesman could only stammer out, "Er, is your mother at home?" Answered the boy, "What do you think?"
4 天氣預報 Weather forecast
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "It will rain tomorrow." The next day it rained.
A week later, the Indian went up to the director again and said, "There will be a storm tomorrow." The next day there was a storm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot an important scene tomorrow," said the director. "And I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know," he said. "My radio is broken."
5 第四元素 The Fourth Element
Teacher: What are the four element of nature?
Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...
Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?
Student: Soap!
6 小心有狗 Beware of dog
As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door.
Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
"Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner.
"Yep, that's him," came the reply.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"
(from internet)
