1 來龍去脈The Long and Short of It
Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together.
"Grandma," I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"
She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."
"Grandma," I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"
She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."
2 請幫個忙Do Me a Favor
The mechanic was very busy when I took my car in for repairs, so I settled down in the waiting room with a book I'd brought along. The mechanic was in and out answering calls, and at one point he stopped and looked at me. "Would you do me a favor and flip back a few pages when someone comes in? That way it won't look as if you've been here all day."
3 不在這裏Not Here
Kathy and Polly were friends but they liked playing tricks on each other
One day Kathy met Polly in the street. She said, "Hi, Polly. It's good to see you."
"How can you see me when I'm not here?" Polly asked.
"What do you mean, you're not here?" Kathy asked. "Of course you're here."
"No, I'm not." Polly said. "and I'll bet you ten dollars that I can prove I'm not here."
"Alright," said Kathy. "Ten dollars. Now prove you're not here."
"Easy," Polly said, "Am I in Hong Kong?"
"No," said Kathy.
"Am I in Paris?"
"No," said Kathy.
"If I'm not in Hong Kong and I'm not in Paris," Polly said, "then I must be somewhere else. Right?"
"Right," said Kathy. "You must be somewhere else."
"Exactly." said Polly. "And if I'm somewhere else I can't be here, can I? Ten dollars, please. "
"That's very clever, Polly," Kathy said, "but I can't give you ten dollars."
"Why not?" asked Polly. "We had a bet.
"Certainly we had a bet," Kathy said, "but how can I give you ten dollars if you're not here?"
And with a laugh she walked away.
4 海軍軍官候補生A Midshipman
One of my fellow midshipmen at the U. S. Naval Academy was performing poorly in class and reported to his company officer for counseling, "Your marks are deplorable!" the officer scolded. "Is there a problem-that has kept you from studies?"
"No, sir," the midshipman replied. "I have no idea what the problem is. I study the notes I take, and I'm never late to class. I don't even talk in class, but for some reason my professors don't seem to like me.
The officer sat back and thought. Then he asked, "Do you get enough sleep?"
My classmate replied, "Sir, do you mean at night or in class?"
5 糊塗父親The Mistaken Father
The morning following the birth of our first child, my husband was mistakenly directed to the room of another new mother on the maternity floor. As he walked into the room, he bent over the nap- ping mother, whose back was turned to him, and gave her a big kiss. The woman was startled to see a stranger. But before she could say anything, my husband smiled and said, "I didn't know having a baby would change you this much!"
6 欲買馬之人A Prospective Horse Buyer
Then there was the preacher who decided to sell his horse. A prospective buyer was impressed with the animal, but the preacher said, "I must warn you-he only responds to 'church talk'. Go is 'Praise the Lord', and stop is 'Hallelujah"'.
"I've worked with horses all my life," said the buyer, "and I've never heard of anything like this." Mounting the horse, he said skeptically, "Praise the Lord." The horse began to trot. He repeated "Praise the Lord" and the horse broke into a gallop. Suddenly the buyer saw a cliff dead ahead. Frantic, he yelled "Hallelujah", and they came to a stop a foot from the edge.
Wiping the sweat from his brow, the buyer said, "Praise the Lord!"
Wiping the sweat from his brow, the buyer said, "Praise the Lord!"
（from Internet)
