1 Loss損失
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast.
Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"
The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.
2 The Choice of Word選詞
One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said Da-Dy to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word daddy to teach their baby.
During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry Daddy. His wife said to him, Darling, she is calling you. Then she turned to sleep.
3 I know the whole truth整件事我都知道了
At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults hide at least one dark secret and this makes it very easy to blackmail them merely by saying, "I know the whole truth."
So Little Johnny decides to try it out. When he arrives home from school that day, he says to his mother, "I know the whole truth." His mother looks shocked, quickly finds $20, and gives it to him, saying, and “Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, Little Johnny waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." His father looks shocked, quickly finds $40, and gives it to him, saying, "Just don't tell your mother."
The next morning, Little Johnny is on his way to school when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy decides to try again. "I know the whole truth."
The mailman drops his mailbag, throws opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real daddy a nice big hug!"
4 College dormitory rules罰款
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?”
One student raised his hand and asked, “How much for a season pass?”
5 Thank you for the doctor感謝醫生
Doctor: Please open your mouth, madam.
Lady: Thank you very much, doctor.
Doctor: Why do you thank me?
Lady: Because my husband always asked me to shut up.
6 My half was at the bottom of the bottle我的那半兒在瓶子的下麵
Jimmy and Tommy went off on their bikes for a picnic in the woods.
They had one bottle of lemonade between then. Jimmy went to explore while Tommy unpacked the food. When he returned, he found the bottle was empty.
"Hey!" he exclaimed crossly. "Half of that was mine!"
"I know," said Tommy, "but I was thirsty, and as my half was at the bottom of the bottle I had to drink through yours to get to it."
（from internet)
